Walking Dead - No Sanctuary Recap

So, welcome back to the world of ‘Dead’.  And what a welcome wagon it was.  Carol is now a bonafide superhero, most of our gang has reunited, and the last two seconds of the show blew our minds. 

Before we get to all that though, this week the episode was an action-packed delight, bookended by brief horrific glimpses into the world of our Termites as they were being actively robbed of their humanity in the not-so-distant past.  Quite a deal of backstory was revealed to us.  Here’s what we learned:  Terminus was actually a place of sanctuary at one point in time, but then horrible men came and took advantage of the situation, gleefully raping and pillaging their way through the community. But the Termites fought back.  Following their successful revolution against the baddies, their PTSD addled minds told them what the world needed them to do - become cold-blooded cannibals. 

I have a feeling we are going to see more of the Termites backstory as the season progresses.  As Scott Gimple mentioned on Therapy Hour (aka: Talking Dead), our heroes have also done some pretty heinous things to ensure their survival and a reckoning may be coming for them as well.  Given the generally triumphant tone of this episode, I’m feeling that a reckoning is coming, fo sho.  If history has taught us loyal viewers anything it’s that the WD world is never at peace for long.

However, let’s get back to the episode at hand.  In the present, the action picks up right where we left off – in the train car.  Clips of dialogue are interspersed with shots of our gang prepping what little resources they have for battle.  A belt buckle becomes a Wolverine claw, and the chain of Hershel’s watch is put to use as a makeshift saw.  When we first see Rick he’s using the chain to jimmy a shard of wood paneling free from the side of the car.  The crew moves like scrappy ninjas, and all definitely earn points for amazing DIY weapons.  Sasha asks if they’ve seen Tyreese (no), and Daryl fills them in on what happened with Beth.

The Termites come and sneakily blast our gang with some sort of knock out gas from above.  We follow Rick’s perspective as he is dragged from the train car and into the bowels of Terminus. 

From Rick’s hazy POV, we enter a sterile room.  A body appears to be getting sawed apart on some sort of operating table, Dexter-style, sans plastic wrap. 

(Side note – Dexter Morgan would totally be alive in the apocalypse.  I have no doubt.  Dexter writers, you can totally make up for that abysmal series finale by convincing Michael C. Hall to cameo as Dexter in an episode of Walking Dead.  Please?  Pleeeease???? #kthxbai)

Bob, Rick, Daryl and Glenn are placed on their knees before a sparkling clean stainless steel trough.  Hippie Sam (yes folks, that is the kid who Carol and Rick encountered early on last season!) is on the far end.  Two goofy looking Termites, who’ll we’ll call ‘Tweedle Swing’ and ‘Tweedle Slash’ expertly position themselves behind Sam, thwacking his skull and then slitting his throat in rapid succession.  A viscous river of blood creeps down the trough, slowly sneaking toward our boys.  This is a tremendously disturbing sight, and for the first time we see Daryl with a look of genuine panic on his face.  However, Rick has an ace up his pant leg, and by ace I mean a giant shard of wood.  As Rick shimmies the shard free, Gareth walks in and interrupts the Tweedles by asking about their shot counts from earlier in the day.  During this exchange, Bob gets Gareth’s attention and tries to reason with him, but Gareth’s not buying the redemptive tale that Bob is selling. 

However, Gareth does turn his attention to Rick. He gently pulls the gag out of Rick’s mouth, and asks him about the contents of the bag buried in the woods.  Rick is cagey about it until Gareth threatens to skewer Bob’s eyeball, prompting him to comply with an answer.  Rick says there are guns in the bag, along with a machete that he plans on killing Gareth with.  Gareth gives Rick a wan smile, and then shoves the gag back in Rick’s mouth.  The Tweedle’s resume their work, Tweedle Swing’s bat poised to strike our sweet Glenn’s noggin when…..

BLAMMO!!!!

Huge explosion rocks the slaughterhouse.  Cue credits.  This ep wins hands down for most intense intro ever. 

Elsewhere in time, Carol, Judith and Tyreese approach Terminus.  A walker ambles out of the woods, and Tyreese says he can’t kill it because he’s not ready yet.  I wonder, because of Lizzie?  He wants to honor Lizzie’s memory or something?  I don’t quite get it, but the happenings in 'The Grove' were certainly a traumatizing experience for all of us, so I’ll let Ty have a pass on this one. 

Carol slams her knife into the walkers rotting skull, taking him down to the ground.  I’ve always admired the commitment that Carol dedicates to her walker kills, throwing her entire body weight into her weapon, ensuring that she makes her actions count.  She looks up only to see a herd coming their way.  They hide as the herd travels blindly down the tracks, moving toward the distinctive noise of gunfire at Terminus.  As they emerge from the brush after the herd has passed, Carol and Tyreese decide that they still need to press on to Terminus for answers.  

Cut to an unidentified rando setting up fireworks near a shed as he cheerfully radios to Terminus.  Hearing key pieces of his conversation, Carol sneaks up and puts her gun to Rando’s temple, saying, “We’re friends with the chick with the sword and the kid with the hat.”   Rando insists that they are only holding the “samurai and the kid”, but Carol knows better than to believe him.  They tie him up and toss him in the shed.

Carol rapidly formulates a plan, gathering a bunch of supplies from the shed and turning to walk out the door.  Tyreese begins to stop her, saying, “Carol, how are you going to do this?”  She responds in a resigned whisper, “I’m gonna kill people.”

Once Carol leaves, Rando is free to mess with Tyreese’s head.  He asks about Judith, and then attempts to humanize himself by sharing a bit about his past.  “I used to watch football on Sundays.  I went to church.  I know I did, but I can’t picture it anymore.”  Rando nonchalantly snaps his gum like a truck stop waitress, as he asks why Tyreese hasn’t killed him yet.  He’s pegged Tyreese for a good guy, a guy who saves babies, a guy who hasn’t had to get his hands dirty yet.  And he’s 100% right. 

Meanwhile, a woman who has had metaphorical ‘dirty hands’ time and time again is literally dirtying her hands with walker guts and mud.  Moving with purpose, Carol creates an invisibility shield as she coats a cloak with walker guts, and then proceeds to smear mud on her face. 

As Carol creeps through the woods, I get a strong feeling that ‘Carol Camouflage’ may be a super popular Halloween costume this year.  So simple, yet effective!  She peers through the perimeter fence in time to see a bound and gagged Rick being dragged away to an unknown location.  A gas tank in her sights, she slips undetected to another portion of the fence and proceeds to set up shop. 

The herd approaches the Terminus gates, and Carol calmly sets her plan into action.  She shoots at the propane tank, creating a hole.  As the gas starts to hiss out of the tank, Carol lights a firework.  The resulting sparks detonate the tank in short order, creating the explosion that we heard earlier in the episode, and a horde of flaming walkers advances on the Terminus compound.

BOOYAH CAROL!  YES!  She has come to save the day with a vengeance.  But just you wait, her work here ain’t quite done yet….

Walkers continue to advance in droves on the front entrance of Terminus.  Carol seamlessly integrates herself into the horde until it becomes apparent that snipers are taking down some of the walkers.  She sidles into a doorway for protection and handily takes out two of the snipers before she shuts the door and enters Terminus.

Back at the checkpoint shed, Rando continues his chat with Tyreese.  Tyreese makes the mistake of saying, “nobody’s gotta die today”, to which Rando responds matter-of-factly, “if you believe that, then it’s definitely going to be you and the kid.”

In the slaughterhouse, Gareth leaves the Tweedles to supervise our four boys.  Tweedle Slash panics and says that he wants to go out there to help, but before Tweedle Swing can make a case to stay, Rick jabs him in the neck with his wooden shiv.  In two strides he is by the remaining Tweedle’s side, and stabs him in the neck too.  Bye bye Tweedles, we hardly knew ye.  The camera pans to the man on the carving table, who is revealed to be Alex, Gareth’s brother.

As the guys flee, they enter a makeshift drying/carving room, complete with nausea-inducing hanging torsos.  They all arm themselves with various weapons and start to form an exit strategy.  They peer out onto the courtyard and see a train car with someone screaming for help locked inside.  Glenn insists that the group takes the time to free them.  He says, “We have to let them out.  That’s still who we are.”

They open the latch to the train car, and a bedraggled bearded man with a crazy tattooed face charges out.  He starts to maniacally scream, “We’re the same!  We’re the same!” as he grabs Glenn and invades his personal space.  Glenn shoves him aside, and Tattoo Face gets chomped.  So much for doing the right thing.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again –  Kindness gets you nothing in the WD world. 

Rick moves to a better vantage point, and takes out one of the gun-toting Termites.  He uses the gun to wound the remainder of the Termite walker extermination crew, and leaves them to be chomped by the walkers that continue to flood the compound.  

Still inside Terminus, Carol enters a curious room that resembles a post-apocalyptic pawnshop.  Entire folding tables are piled with a variety of items, including boots, weapons, watches, and a table full of well-loved stuffed animals and toys, indicating that children have definitely been at the mercy of the Termites.  Ugh.  She grabs Daryl’s crossbow and a watch that she seems to recognize. 

Carol’s not-so-guided tour of Terminus continues as she stumbles into the cult-y graveyard creep out room.  Carol starts to make her way across the floor, when Mary storms in.   The two women tussle but Carol quickly gains the upper hand.  Carol trains her gun on Mary’s face, and Mary starts to vomit out the story of Terminus, focusing specifically on what seems to be the motto of the place, “You’re either the butcher or the cattle”.  That would look great crocheted on a pillow. 

Disinterested in what Mary is selling, Carol asks her where the men from the train car are.  When she gets no response, she coolly trains her scope on Mary’s leg and fires.  Mary writhes in agony for a second, and then composes herself as she bids Carol to point the gun at her head.  Carol hesitates, asking Mary about what Terminus actually is.  With an indignant cackle, Mary tries to explain the creed behind Terminus ending with, “…we’re still here.”  Carol stares at Mary, slowly backing away, and says, “You’re not here, and neither am I.”  She opens the outside door to the walkers, and slinks past them in her invisibility cloak of gore.

Over in the shed, Rando realizes that he has the element of surprise and grabs Judith.  Tyreese slides over his weapons as asked, and then Rando insists that he go outside with the walkers.  With a guttural war-cry, Tyreese complies and shoves himself outside.  Rando listens from inside as the walker snarls reach a fevered peak and then suddenly stop. 

Rando walks tentatively towards the door when, POW! Tyreese charges through the door and body slams Rando to the ground, placing a knife to his throat.  (Side note – What happened to Tyreese’s hammer?)  Rando tells him to do it, just kill him.  Tyreese pummels Rando in the face while howling, “I WON’T!!!”  “I WONNN’T!!!!” over and over again like a wounded animal.

The remainder of our crew is still stuck in the train car.  Sonia asks about the cure, and after some prodding Eugene eventually provides them with a line of impressive sounding jibberish that really means nothing.  The best I can gather is that they he intends to use another disease to fight the walker disease?  Fire with fire? Just as everyone starts to figure out that Eugene is basically spouting nonsense, Rick and Co open the train car and the group goes feral.  They slash, club and claw their way through the courtyard, clearing a path through the walker herd and to the fence.  As they escape, Rick takes out a sniper and appears to clip Gareth’s side, but doesn’t kill him.  I have a feeling he’ll be back.

We are treated to a shot from above as Terminus burns.  This brings to mind all of the other communities that we have seen collapse throughout the series.  Where is home?  In a world absent of a distinct ‘home’, is home truly with the ones you love?  The people you can trust?  While the Terminus crew appears to have gone cold on everyone, including one another, our gang is truly a family.

The crew follows Rick out into the woods, and he and Daryl unearth the bag of guns.  Abe questions what they’re doing, and Rick states that they’re getting supplies so that they can pick off the remainder of the Termites.  Rick has clearly learned his lesson by being merciful to those who had wronged him in the past.  Lesson learned: You can’t leave those who have scorned you behind.  However, Abe, Glenn, Rosita and Maggie disagree with this philosophy and say they should just skedaddle.  As the group discusses the matter, Carol slowly approaches them and the issue becomes moot. 

SOB SOB SOB.  HAPPY TEAARRRS!!!  Daryl and Carol!  I’M SO HAPPIIIEEEEEEEE!!!! 

After the everything-I-wanted-it-to-be reunion between Daryl and Carol, Rick walks up, dumbstruck, seeing her for the first time since he exiled her.  As he tentatively approached her, he asks, “Did you do that?” then embraces her and says, “thank you.”  Hopefully now he sees that Carol Pellitier is a valuable asset.

Carol leads them to the shed where Tyreese and Judith are waiting, and we get Joyous Reunion Part Two.   Tyreese and Sasha hug, and here go my happy tear waterworks again as Rick and Carl are reunited with baby Judith. 

Once everything calms down a bit, Tyreese explains to Carol what happened with the walkers, and how Rando had his hands around Judith’s neck.  Carol instinctually advances on the shed, but Tyreese gently stops her, saying, “No, he’s dead.  I had to.  So I did.  I could.”  Carol nods.

(Side note – This kid is totally not dead.  Despite the fact that I have serious doubts about Tyreese’s abilty to kill, Rando did not appear on the ‘In Memoriam’ montage on Talking Dead.  He’ll definitely be back.  Probably with Gareth, that “asshole that he survives with.”)

Rick looks towards Terminus and says, “I don’t know if the fire is still burning”. Carol says, “it is,” with no explanation, but we all know how she knows.  Thank you sweet Mika, your Survival Tips live on in your absence!  Rick concludes that they should move from the scene immediately, and they do.

As the group makes their way down the tracks, Rick scoops up some mud and smears it on a Terminus sign so that it reads, ‘NO Sanctuary”.

Credits roll.  I am giddy with happiness and delight.  I am so satisfied that I don’t even care that future episodes will probably be cloaked in horror and sadness.  I wait to watch the scenes from next week and begin to settle in for Talking Dead.

BUT WAIT. 

A figure approaches the ‘No Sanctuary’ sign.  The figure turns, and removes a black mask to reveal…..MORGAN!! ZOMG MORGAN!  He brushes a cryptic carved symbol in a nearby tree with his fingertips and then continues silently into the woods.

Best.  Episode.  Ever.

Some thoughts before I go -

- When Rando talks to Tyreese about his ‘past life’, how he went to church and played football, I remembered how much I love these moments.  In past episodes, my interest was piqued when we found out that Glenn was a pizza delivery boy, and that Michonne had a little boy.  Last season finding out what Daryl did ‘before’ was such a hard earned moment that an entire episode was spent on the reveal.  It’s interesting to have some context as to whom these people are and how they’ve developed and changed since the world collapsed.  Who benefits from the situation?  Who survives?  What needs to be sacrificed for survival?  Oddly enough the plot this season revolving around the Termites appears to be focusing on the ‘before’ and ‘after’ of the trauma they experienced, but, alas, not who they were before the actual end of civilization.

- I truly hope that the WD writers aren’t just being teases with the shot of Morgan.  Please reintegrate him, and soon.

- Where is Beth?

- We can add ‘cold bodies’ to our ever-growing list of synonyms for ‘walker’ thanks to Rando.  However, my personal favorite is still ‘reanimated corpses’, used to great effect by Abe in 'Us' last season.  Frankly, that one is going to be hard to top.

Walking Dead - 'A' Recap

The episode opens with a flashback to the old halcyon prison days.  Rick, Maggie and Glenn return from some sort of recon trip, and Hershel is there to greet them with open arms.  As far as I can see, this scene has no other purpose except to make me weep with sorrow that Hershel is gone.  I miss him so much.   The focus skips ahead in time to Rick slumped next to a truck with flat tires.  He is coated in blood and twitching, staring blankly off into the distance.

Another skip in time brings the viewer back to the ‘present’.  Rick, Michonne and Carl make it clear that they are hungry, hungry hippos and they all go to check the traps that Rick set earlier.  Rick earns a Survival Tip Bonus Point by teaching us viewers how to effectively set a snare.  Carl rambles on about what they will tell the people at Terminus, and asks the existential question, “who are we?”  Just as Rick starts to contemplate this age-old query, they hear screams in the background. 

Carl dumbly sprints off to help, gun in hand.  Rick grabs him and pulls him back as they witness a walker chomping into the man’s face like one of those life sized gummi bear from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. 

The Grimes gang proceeds to get the eff out of dodge.

Flashback - Hershel wakes Rick, asking for some help.  Rick asks what time it is, and Hershel twirls his mustache and replies, “It’s time to make the donuts!”  No, just kidding.  He says, “I never know what time it is anymore.  Ever since I gave Glenn my watch it’s always ‘right now’ to me”.  Beth dutifully scoops up Judith, leaving Rick free to hang with Hershel. 

Back in the present, Mich, Carl and Rick head down a road, and encounter an abandoned truck from the first scene in the episode.  A walker who appears to have melted into the ground is clawing at the air, and Mich dispatches of it.  It’s a mercy kill, and I can’t help but think that crazy Lizzie wouldn’t approve. 

As night falls, the Grimes trio polishes off their meager dinner and speculates that there’s another day’s travel until they reach Terminus.  Michonne starts to wonder if the whole Terminus thing is legit when an immediate threat presents itself. 

A gun cock is heard, and a snub nose appears at Rick’s temple.  Denim Joe warbles, “Oh dearie me.  You screwed up, asshole…..today’s the day of reckoning sir.”  Joe babbles on about how happy he is that he’s found ‘New Years Eve’ and he starts counting down when our hero Daryl appears out of the darkness to stop Joe. 

YESSSS!!! Reunited and it feels so good!!!! 

(This is how I feel, don't be judging my feelings, ok?)

But before the first few notes of Peaches & Herb hit the air, Joe says, “You’re stopping me on eight Daryl.”  Daryl proceeds to stand up for his friends, says they’re good people and he says if they need blood, that they should take the blood from him.  Joe is not a fan of this option.  He says, “This man killed our friend, and you say he’s good people, that’s a lie.”  “Teach him fellas, teach him all the way.”  The Goon Squad viciously pummels Daryl, and I scream at the TV, barely noticing as the fat goon pulls Carl out of the car. 

Joe growls, “We can settle this, we’re reasonable men.  First we’re going to beat Daryl to death, then we’ll have the girl, and then we’ll have the boy.  Then we’ll shoot you and we’ll be square.”  Carl flails around for a knife that is literally within his reach as he squirms around and whines like a bitch.  Rick gets a crazy twitch in his face, and snarls, “Let him go” as he wings his head back, slamming Joe right in the schnozz.  Rick appears to get the high ground for a second, but Joe regains his composure and kicks Rick on the ground.

Joe, ever the daredevil, goads Rick into getting up.  They tussle for a moment, and Joe gets Rick in a hold.  “What the hell are you gonna do now, sport?” 

What’s Rick going to do?  He’s going to go Mike Tyson all over your neck, son!  Rick chomps a big juicy bite into Joe’s neck, brutally ripping out his jugular, and the remainder of the Goon Squad puts their marauding on a hard pause.  It’s kind of like when Zach Morris used to freeze time in Saved By the Bell, only, not.  If memory serves, I don’t think Zach ever killed anyone using only his teeth at Bayside High….

Unfreeze!  Carl continues to be pathetically useless as he lies on the ground whimpering.  Michonne, the polar opposite of Carl, actually acts on the opportunity and grabs Tony’s gun, popping him one in the face. 

“Let the boy go!”  Daryl’s in on the action now as he stomps a goon in the face.  Rick grabs Joe’s knife and advances on the fat one who attacked Carl.  He literally guts him like a wild animal, and then stabs him repeatedly, far beyond a reasonable number of times.  Let’s just say a crazy number of times.  An insane person number of times.  Michonne holds Carl who watches this stabby show with dead, angry eyes. 

Flashback - Hershel talks about the horses and feral pigs.  Oop.  Guess the flu was Hershel’s fault.  Oh well.  He’s telling Rick that he needs to put down the gun and pick up a shovel.  It’s time for Farmer Rick to come out and play, for the sake of his son.  And as much as I miss Hershel and loved his rosy worldview, the previous scene with Rick and the Goon Squad shows exactly why Rick needed to stay his combative, cautious self.  The recent theme of the show seems to be that there is no room for soft people in this world.  There is only survival.

Back to a bloodied Rick slumped next to the truck.  Michonne cuddles a sleeping Carl inside, brushes his hair back from his head.  Once again I silently compare Michonne to Lori.  No way would Lori have been able to do what Michonne did.

Daryl approaches Rick with a bottle of water, encouraging him to wipe the blood off his face.  He extends the bottle to Rick saying, “you can’t see yourself, he can.”  Daryl goes into a brief synopsis of where he’s been since the Great Prison War.  He explains that he didn’t know who the goons were.  He says he got out with Beth, but now she’s gone.  Oddly he doesn’t give too much more of an explanation regarding Beth’s whereabouts, and Rick doesn’t press him for one.

Daryl continues to explain why he had pledged membership in the Goon Squad, and Rick goes all Good Will Hunting on him.  “It’s not on you, Daryl.  Hey.  It’s not on you.”  Daryl silently takes that in, and nods.  He then tries to repay the favor by justifying Rick’s actions from the previous night.  Rick says that even though his actions were brutal, the only thing that matters is keeping Carl safe.

They walk down the tracks, Rick asks Michonne if she’s ok.  She says she’s ok, and she knows he’s ok because she’s ok.  That’s some circuitous logic, but it brings a half smile to Rick’s mangled face. They approach a Terminus sign, indicating that they are close.  Rick theorizes that they should be cautious and travel through the woods.  Good call Rick.  Ummmm, why didn’t Abe think of that?

The Grimes Gang cases Terminus, stealthily sneaking up to the chain link fence.  Carl chooses to wander the perimeter with Michonne instead of his father, prompting Michonne to ask why.  When Carl is cagey about his answer, she tells him the story about how she lost herself after her son Andre died.  She went on a run, and left Andre with her boyfriend.  When she came back, the fences had been breached and Andre was gone.  She goes on to let Carl in on the zombie pet origin story.  She says, “I was gone for a long time.  But then Andrea brought me back, your dad brought me back.  You did.”  She says that Carl doesn’t need to be afraid of her or Rick.  Carl mumbles some crap, realizing that he has to be tough, says “I’m not what he thinks I am.  I’m just another monster too.”  Please Carl, please dear god I beg of you.  Show us this monster.

Rick buries a large bag of weapons in the woods.  He tops it off with his iconic sheriffs’ pistol, and zips the bag, nodding to Daryl as he says, “just in case.” 

The group scales the fence, creeping stealthily across the tracks.  As they sneak in the back, a woman repeating the mission statement of Terminus over a radio frequency can be seen, as well as a small group of sign makers. The Terminus-ers stop what they’re doing, and look at our gang.  A skinny man asks, “you here to rob us?”  Rick responds, “No, we wanted to see you before you saw us.”  Skinny dude introduces himself as Gareth and welcomes them to Terminus. 

Gareth asks them to lay their weapons down.  The Terminus-ers (Terminus-ites? I feel like I’ve heard them called Termites before so I’ll go with that from now on) pat them down for any other weapons, and then hand them back.  Apparently satisfied with what they see, Gareth leads them to the proper ‘welcome wagon’ entrance. 

Up front, Martha Stewart Mary is at the grill, giving them kudos for coming in the back door.  Rick looks around, and spies the poncho and the riot gear.  As Alex hands Carl a plate, Rick smacks the plate out of his hand.  Eyeing Alex’s pocket watch, he grabs Alex by the neck, and twists his gun to Alex’s head.  Michonne, Daryl and Carl react as one, pulling their weapons without asking, trusting Rick implicitly.  Rick does his best Christian-Bale-as-Batman impression as he rasps, “Where did you get this?”

Flashback – Cutie Patrick plays with Legos on the ground.  Enjoy it while you can, Patrick.  Life is short.  Further in the cellblock, Carl is fixated on reassembling his gun like a budding psycho, juxtaposed by Beth innocently playing with Judith on the stairs.  Oh Beth, where are you?  Rick approaches Carl and says, “I need your help with something.”  He gestures to Carl’s gun, saying,  “Leave it behind.  Itl’l just get in the way.”

Back at Terminus the standoff continues.  Alex says hes got this.  He explains that he got the watch, “Off a dead one.  I didn’t think he’d need it.”  Gareth further digs into the lie, saying that they got the poncho off a clothesline.  He calmly talks to Rick for another moment, stating, “What’s there to say, you don’t trust us anymore.”  Gareth closes his opened hand into a fist, signaling for the snipers to go into action. 

Uhhh the snipers are terrible.  They spray the concrete at the Grimes Gang’s feet, liberally wasting bullets.  The gang runs through the bowels of Terminus, trying to escape.  They race through what appears to be either a shooting range or a training ground of some sort, old rusted out cars and boxes littered with bullet holes.  As they attempt to flee, the camera briefly pans over a blue tarp covered with bloody and picked over carcasses.  The un-guided tour of Terminus continues as the quartet bursts into a creeptastic room with candles, and the words ‘NEVER TRUST, WE FIRST ALWAYS’ painted in bold black paint on the walls. 

As they run out into the outer courtyard our gang is surrounded.  Gareth says, “drop your weapons, now.”  Carl’s mouth is agape.  They drop their weapons.  Gareth uses sweet nicknames for each of the characters as he directs them toward the train car marked ‘A’.  He calls Rick the ‘Ringleader’, Daryl the ‘Archer’ and Michonne the ‘Samurai’. Carl doesn’t get a nickname.  Probably because he’s super lame.   Gareth instructs them to go in to the train car in order.  Rick opens the door. 

They pile into the train car.  On the other side of the dark car, Glenn emerges, then Maggie.  She breathes,“You’re here.”  Bob and Sasha.  Tara and Abe etc.  Rick looks at Tara with a bit of confusion.  Maggie says, “They’re our friends.  They helped save us.”  Daryl is immediately accepting and says “now they’re friends of ours.” Abe adds, “for however long that’ll be.”  Rick looks at Abe and simply says, “No.”

Flashback - Back to the prison farm.  The makeshift Grimes/Greene fam tends to the earth.  Rick says that they’re going to have to get Carl a new hat.  “There’s a new sherriff in town” and puts the hat on Beth.  An optimistic Hershel says, “It can be like this all the time.”  Sorry, Hershel.  Wrong.

Back in the train car, we see the opposite of the idyllic prison farm.  Rick says, “They’re going to feel pretty stupid when they find out” Abe asks, “Find out what?” The camera slowly pans over all the faces (Rosita is noticeably absent), rapt in attention at Rick as he responds, “They’re screwing with the wrong people.” 

Bojack Horseman - 5 Reasons Why

With very little fanfare, the new comedic series ‘Bojack Horseman’ dropped on Netflix a few weeks ago.  Bojack (voiced by Arrested Development’s Will Arnett) is a washed up sitcom star living in a palatial mansion in the Hollywood hills.  For funsies, he also happens to be a horse.  His feline agent, and sometime girlfriend Princess Carolyn (Amy Sedaris) and his live in slacker buddy Todd (Aaron Paul, playing what I like to think of as a happy-go-lucky Jesse Pinkman) enable Bojack to live in an alcoholic haze until, like in all good comedies, hijinks ensue. 

Since I pressed ‘play’ on the first episode, I have been obsessed.  You should be too.  Here’s why.

One - The closing theme of the show will inhabit your dreams.  Written by the indie rock band Grouplove, this original ditty will worm its way into your brain and pop up at odd times, but in a pleasantly enchanting way.  After watching the credits a handful of times, I guarantee your brain will be playing that shizz on repeat. 

Two - Not only is the closing theme quite good, but the opening theme from Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney is also pretty fantastic.  Paired with an extremely watchable intro, the sax-heavy opening theme is a groovy tune that kick-starts each show with a little verve and sass.  Also, extra bonus for Mad Men fans, some awesome person out there created an opening theme flip-flop for your amusement.  I’m not a Mad Men fan per se, but the following videos are definitely worth a peek. 

Mad Men with Bojack theme - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmxIWjH0umo

(Strike that, reverse it.) 

Bojack with Mad Men theme - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK1Otf5zbrg

Three – Were you ever curious about what happened to MTV’s resident bespectacled pessimist Daria?  I may be reaching, but the likeness between Daria and Bojack’s Diane is uncanny.  Diane (voiced by Allison Brie) is like the grown up version of Daria – if Daria traded her combat boots and ho-hum pleated skirt for a pair of form fitted jeans and some smartly heeled boots.  Maybe it’s the parallel green jackets speaking to me, maybe it’s the glasses, but if Diane’s name was Daria I would totally buy that Daria moved to LA and became a writer after a stint on an MTV reality series. 

Four – Thanks to the ‘all episodes drop at once like a long ass movie’ Netflix format, Bojack has a continuous plot instead of a series of self-contained episodes like most other cartoons.  The story is absorbing and much like most shows about Hollywood, includes some very meta twists and turns.

Five – Delightful vocal cameos abound.  Most of these actors seem more than enthused to play send-ups of typical Hollywood tropes such as Angelica Huston’s dry, monotone network executive, and Stanley Tucci’s closeted creator of a family-friendly sitcom.  Naomi Watts is particularly delightful as “Naomi Watts”, playing herself as a neurotic, high-energy version of herself that brings to mind her wonderfully zany performance in ‘I Heart Huckabees’.  Other notable contributors include Melissa Leo, Stephen Colbert, Olivia Wilde and Wallace Shawn.  Inconceivable!

Walking Dead - Us Recap

This week we got a healthy dose of sibling-like rivalries, bits of dark humor, and a possible light at the end of the tunnel.  Oh, Walking Dead, I know I need to enjoy it while it lasts.  Because I don’t think you’re going to let us go out of the season that easily. In the previous two episodes, two doe eyed innocents were taken from the show. God knows where Beth is, and we all know too well where poor Mika is.  Innocence and optimism in the WD world get you nothing.  So, for any hopeful feelings I had at the end of this episode, I expect that WD will deliver that signature crushing blow in the season finale.

However, for now, I choose to feel optimistic.

The episode opens on Eugene and Tara chatting about what killed the dinosaurs.  Well, it’s actually more Eugene babbling on and Tara half-listening, but her mulleted travel companion is actually making an interesting and insightful point.  He suggests that maybe the dinosaurs went extinct because of the zombie virus.  Tara just sort of shrugs his point off, but I think it serves to foreshadow certain breakdowns in the WD world to come.  More about this a bit later.

That night, Abe and Tara bond over nighttime watch.  I like these two together.  Abe is calm and almost fatherly to Tara, and Tara calls him on all his bullshit.  He admits to her that he has deduced that she’s gay (because of her not so furtive glances at Rosita’s bazoombas), and that her loyalty to Glenn stems from guilt, not love.   

Speaking of Glenn, the next morning the crew is on the road again, when they spot something in the distance.  A sign to Terminus.  “GLENN GO TO TERMINUS MAGGIE SASHA BOB”.  Glenn takes a beat, and then starts sprinting down the tracks, a twitchy smile spreading across his face.

Elsewhere, the Goon Squad wakes up to a walker with a taste for barbed wire.  One of the goons dispatches of the walker, and then immediately starts pissing on the ground.  Way to be classy, dude.  The gang speculates that Daryl has left them, but then observes that his stuff is still there.

Daryl creeps up on a rabbit in the woods. He shoots his bow, but a goon who looks like Evil Shaggy from Scooby Doo creeps up behind him and shoots at the same time.  Evil Shaggy says the rabbit is claimed, and starts to provoke the beast that is Daryl Dixon.  Daryl starts to pull his knife, but Joe intervenes.  He explains the ‘rules’ of the group, which he has instituted in order to “keep things from goin’ Darwin every few hours”.  That’s quite a reference for a redneck wearing an embroidered denim vest.  Joe gently takes the rabbit out of Daryl’s hand and hacks it in two, handing Daryl the ass end. 

If Evil Shaggy had an Evil Scooby, he might be better at hunting like a real man. 

Back on the tracks, Rick, Michonne and Carl make their way to Terminus.  Rick starts talking strategy when he turns to see Michonne and Carl playing a balancing game on the parallel tracks.  He smiles, but asks if they can’t speed it up a bit.  C’mon Rick!  You have to have a bit of levity in this horrid life!  Michonne agrees, and tries to unseat Carl, lamely swiping at him with her arm, and ends up tipping her balance, falling off.  She extends two candy bars to Carl, and they split it.  I love Michonne in family mode.  She and Carl seem to have really bonded, and she’s proven to be a way cooler and more competent mom than Lori ever was.  Lori didn’t play fun games, and she totally didn’t have a katana. 

On another part of the tracks, Glenn and crew press on.  They see a tower, and Abe wants to stop, but Glenn wants to keep going.  He makes a deal with Abe to trade his riot gear for Eugene’s protection so they can keep hiking for a few more hours.  Abe agrees. 

Glenn kicks himself for trading his riot gear when the gang approaches a super scary looking tunnel.  The tunnel of love, this ain’t.  Why would any tunnel even be a tunnel of love?  Can we all agree that tunnels are terrifying even without the possibility of zombies? There’s no end in sight, not even a pinprick of light.  However, this doom tube has another signature walker blood sign from Maggie on it.  And the blood isn’t dry yet.  Abe sums up the situation in a succinct but kind of hilarious manner, “You hear that?  That there is a long, dark tunnel full of reanimated corpses.”  Oh Abe, I love you more and more each episode.  He tells Glenn that because he can’t ensure Eugene’s safety in the tunnel, this is where they have to part ways.

Abe hands over some cans of food and a pretty diesel flashlight that could probably also double as a weapon.  More love for Abe.  He definitely learned his lessons in kindergarten about sharing.  Glenn apologizes for hitting Abe, saying “Sorry I hit you in the face.” To which Abe cheekily responds, “I’m not.  I like to fight.”  Rosita says her goodbyes, and then Eugene says goodbye in his own way.  He stands awkwardly a few feet away from Glenn and Tara and says “You are seriously hot Tara”, she squirms for a moment and says “I like girls”, to which Eugene responds “I’m well aware of that”.  These three newbies are a welcome addition to the show.  They offer a dose of black comedy that’s like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise humorless world.   Abe tells Glenn and Tara to double back if they get in trouble. 

As Glenn and Tara make their way into the tunnel, Glenn offers up a heart to heart, saying that he knows what she’s going through.  Tara eventually confesses that seeing all of her loved ones die wasn’t as bad as seeing what happened to Hershel.  I still don’t think she’s told Glenn what actually happened to Hershel. I don’t blame her.  It’s pretty horrifying.  She blames herself because she was the first to jump on the Governors bandwagon, and she feels responsible for the raid on the prison.  Glenn could be nice to her at this point, forgive her for her foolishness, but we all know what soft-hearted people get in the WD world. 

Back with the Goon Squad, Daryl walks with Joe who appears to be swooping the Dixon brother under his wing.  Ironic, because Daryl’s the one with wings on his vest.  Joe basically asks him to go steady with the Goon Squad, and Daryl is understandably reluctant.  Joe lays out the rules.  “You don’t steal, and you don’t lie.”  Punishment for these indiscretions is disturbingly arbitrary.  “The severity of which depends on the offense and the general attitude of the day.”  Joe takes a badass drag off a cigarette and says “You a cat person Daryl?  Ain’t nothing sadder than an outdoor cat thinks he’s an indoor cat.”

Side note - Joe is clearly an identified ‘redneck’, but he’s also shrewd.  He sees that Daryl is potentially a powerful asset to the Goon Squad, but also that he is likely to become an agreeable and loyal follower.  Daryl’s brief stint as a leader while he was with Beth was eye-opening for him, but having someone to follow is more his speed due to years listening to what older bro Merle had to say.  The parallels between Daryl and Carol as victims pre-apocalypse must be noted here as Carol is capably finding her own way as a leader, whereas Daryl seems to be lapsing into his old patterns as a follower.  It’s going to be interesting to see what happens if the Goon Squad meets up with any of the old crew at Terminus.  

The Goons case an old auto shop, and as he’s the baby of the group, Daryl is the last one in.  The goons quickly go to work claiming their spaces, and Daryl defiantly sets up camp in the middle of the floor.

Back in the tube of doom, Tara and Glenn encounter a cadre of walkers trapped under a pile of rubble from a ceiling cave in.  (Most Interesting Fact from this weeks episode of ‘Talking Dead’:  Those ‘walkers’ are actually contortionists that stayed in those positions for hours while they were filming this scene.  Eep!)  Glenn checks to see if any of the walkers are Maggie.  Nope.  Phew.  He climbs to the top, flashlight ablaze, and sees a sea of walkers stumbling around in the dark.  He shines the light in each of the walker’s faces, ostensibly checking to see if any of them are Maggie, but really just calling all of them over to the fresh meat at the top of the rubble pile. 

(Side note – Ok, I know this is picky, but if walkers are attracted to light, what the eff are so many of them doing in a pitch black tunnel?  Can someone explain this please?)

On the road, Abe, Rosita and Eugene find a minivan with gas, and start off on the road.  Rosita pulls out a map, and Eugene grabs it.  They bicker like siblings over the navigation job, and Rosita eventually gives in to Eugene, stuffing the map into his front pocket.

Glenn and Tara use their precious and valuable flashlight to construct a makeshift distraction for the walkers, angling it sharply toward one side of the rubble pile.  The walkers flock like moths to a flame, and Jesus there are a lot of them.  The pair starts down the pile, but Tara slips and somehow manages to get her leg caught under a pile of debris.  Womp womp.

Back in the minivan, Abe is napping, Eugene is navigating, and Rosita is getting pissed.  She’s no blind follower, and snaps at Eugene that they are lost.  “The gas in this tank is more than your ego!”  True that, Rosita.  Eugene tells her to stop, and the two of them argue for a bit before she realizes that he’s led them to the train tracks to await Glenn and Tara’s arrival at the end of the tunnel.  He says, “After I save the world, I still have to live with myself.  I’m not leaving them behind.”  And that’s how Eugene, as weird, pompous and be-mulleted as he is, won his way into my heart. 

Abe wakes up and twists towards Rosita, demanding answers as to why they are stopped.  She makes a pretty exact approximation of the ‘shocked’ emoji face, and proceeds to rip into Abe.  As they fight, Eugene spots something in the distance.  He screams “GUYS!” and all three heads turn in the direction of the tracks. 

Back in Goon Land, Evil Shaggy snaps at Daryl, accusing him of stealing his half of the rabbit.  Now, we know that Daryl Dixon might be a lot of things, but he’s certainly no thief.  Joe grabs Daryl’s bag, and asks Daryl if he took it.  Daryl says no.  Joe then turns to Evil Shaggy, and says “You didn’t plant it on his like some pussy punk ass cheatin’ coward cop, did you?”  Evil Shaggy says no, and Joe promptly punches him in the face.  He saw Shags plant the bunny head.  He throws him to the rest of the Goon wolves who delight in pummeling his face to the ground.  Daryl looks on reluctantly like “this shit never happened at the prison”.  

In the tunnel, Glenn struggles to free Tara, and can’t.  She gets a relaxed and zen look on her face, making peace with her death, and tells Glenn to go.  He sort of turns to leave, and then instantly turns back.  Tara gets angry, almost like she’s mad that she won’t get the chance to die, and starts yelling at Glenn, attracting the walkers.  Glenn starts shooting, and quickly runs out of ammo.  He goes to grab the second gun, when the cavalry arrives.

Car lights beam on Glenn and Tara’s saviors, casting them in shadow.  In the silhouette more than three bodies are posed in a sexy Charlie’s Angel’s stance, guns ablaze, taking out the walkers. 

When the coast is clear, one of the figures runs over to Glenn. IT’S MAGGIE!  They embrace and kiss.  GLENN AND MAGGIE 4EVAAAA!!  It’s the rare moment of joy on the Walking Dead. 

After the reunion, Maggie and Glenn pile the walker bodies on the side of the tunnel.  Maggie looks a little pekid as they finish the job.  Is she prego?  That would be interesting, and would also give a bit of a timeline as to how long our original gang has been separated.  Maggie walks up to Tara, and Glenn avoids a stressful situation as he introduces her as a sweet girl he met on the road.  Ergo, just after Carol’s secret was revealed, Tara’s is born.  And just like Carol, I don’t think Tara is going to be able to keep her secret for long. 

At the campfire, Sasha is agog that Eugene knows what started it all.  Abe says they should all go to DC, and Tara says she’ll go.  However, Eugene has other plans.  He feels that the “grocery grabber” that they found is not a decent transport vehicle, and I think that maybe he’d secretly like to see Terminus.  Or maybe he’s stalling for some reason? Apparently totally having changed her mind in the past few days, Sasha agrees that she’d also like to see Terminus.  Sasha would make a great politician.  She and Bob say they’re also in for the DC mission.  But only after they reach Terminus.

That night, Maggie and Glenn canoodle and recap their stories.  The picture of Maggie falls out of Glenn’s blanket.  Maggie looks at it for a second and then grabs her lighter.  Aw girl, don’t be so vain.  Oh, wait, she’s just making a promise to Glenn.  “You don’t need a picture of me.  You never will again.”  They burn the picture, stinking up the whole tunnel.  Oh silly Glaggie, enclosed spaces and chemicals don’t mix. And, yes, I believe Glaggie is their official couple name.

The next morning, Daryl wakes up to a floor that looks like a bloody Jackson Pollock painting.  He goes outside and sees Evil Shaggy’s body, arrow embedded in his skull.  Daryl silently grabs a sheet and goes to cover the body, but then thinks better of it.  Beth’s pure spirit is still with him.  Oh Beth, where are you?

Back on the tracks, Joe offers Daryl a hit from a flask.  They approach a sign to Terminus.  Daryl is floored.  Joe lets him know about why they’re headed there - for vengeance against the guy who killed one of their men.  One of the goons named Tony saw the guys face (who we know is Rick), and “that’s enough for a reckoning”. 

In a tantalizingly slow sequence that feels as if it might fade to black at any minute, Glaggie and Co approach Terminus.  They enter through the gates, encountering courtyard after courtyard of pristine, lush gardens.  A sign reads: “Lower your weapons.  You will be met.  You have arrived at Terminus”.  Within the innermost courtyard, they see a large BBQ grill and some outdoor picnic tables.  A longhaired lady comes out and welcomes them.  Introduces herself as Mary.  She says, “Lets get you settled, and we’ll make you a plate.  Welcome to Terminus.” 

Ok.  Wow. 

I want so badly for nothing sinister to be going on at Terminus.  Please?  Please Walking Dead?  Let me have this one moment of levity and happiness for mankind and the world? 

Yet…

If we look back at Eugene’s dinosaur example at the beginning of the episode, things are about to take a disturbing turn.  Eugene used the dinos as a possible example of how the virus claimed a species in the past, but the dinosaur analogy may hold more weight than that.  As we all know from elementary school, the dinos fell into the categories of either carnivores or vegetarians.  How long till the surviving members of this ‘new world’ yearn for a satisfying slab of meat?  How long until they turn on one another and result to cannibalism for sustenance?  Kill or be killed seems to be the new motto of the show. 

Until the finale I’m going to fool myself into thinking that Terminus is simply a hippie commune and not some sort of human slaughterhouse with really good BBQ sauce…. If Woodbury has taught us anything it's that much more is going on beyond the surface of organized communities in the WD world.  IN OUR WORLD TOO?!  Omg WD, don’t get me started.  Mankind is good, right? RIGHT?!?!