Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Jean-Litmus

I did laundry yesterday. This doesn't seem like such a big deal, right? I do laundry all the time (well, 'all the time' is kind of a relative term, but let's forget about that for the moment).

This morning, I tried on a pair of jeans that had been tight last time I wore them, showcasing my paunch and thighs in a sausage-like manner after washing them two weeks ago. Lovely visual, I know. That's why I chucked them in with the laundry and didn't wear those horrid jeans until today.

Today. Oh, today I decided to do a litmus test of how South Beach has been working for me.

Or, as I would like to call it the 'jeans test'.

For a moment, let's talk about every girl (and likely guys too) and their relationship with jeans. We all know about the 'skinny jean'. I'm not talking about the horrendous trend that's going on right now where even size zero models look like weirdly lumpy emus waddling around in denim. I'm talking about that one pair of jeans in the back of the closet/drawer/hamper/etc that are just waiting waiting waiting for their owners to shed some poundage so that they can be showcased in all their glory. These jeans may be a size 0 or size 22, they may be faded or ripped, worth $15 or $150. It doesn't matter.

My skinny jeans are a pair of the Express 'Editor Pant' in dark navy denim, purchased circa the winter of 2004. I had so many good times in those jeans. Indeed, at the time I had purchased them they were truly my skinny jeans as I had lost a signficant amount of weight prior to their purchase and I loved them with a fervor usually designated for the first few weeks of dating a new boy. Is that creepy? I don't think so.

Skinny jeans. They're the jeans that make you feel like you are a perfect cocktail of beautiful, handsome, amazing and confident. My favorite episode of 'Sex In the City' is the one that features my fav character, Miranda, in her 'skinny jeans'. She struts through multiple bars, flirts with gusto, and smiles ear-to-ear throughout the entire episode. How I love Miranda. How I love that episode ('The Post-It'). That's how I want clothes to make me feel.

Apparently jeans seem to be the magical piece of clothing that can make or break a diet, an outfit or even a day.

So, here I went. Trying on my $15 pair of Lee jeans that didn't fit 2 1/2 weeks ago. Oh lordy be! They fit! I wore them all day long, catching my reflection in mirrors and even drinking extra water so that I could have a valid excuse to visit the bathroom and stare at my shrinking waist in the mirror. My resolve to continue my diet was redoubled.

I resolve to love you again 'Editor Pant'! How I miss you.

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