Walking Dead - Claimed Recap

I haven’t written about the ‘back eight’ of the season yet, but that’s not because I haven’t been captivated by what’s happening.  Quite the opposite.  

Over the past three episodes, the writers have cleverly set up a ‘Walking Game of Thrones’ situation, where our heroes have been torn asunder over a vast and unknown territory where danger lurks at every corner.  The only thing us audience members have to root for in this new divided ‘Dead’ world is the reunification of our gang.  The show hasn’t denied us any reunions in the past – Lori and Rick, Merle and Daryl, Andrea and the Gang…but there are so many characters to rejoin that it seems possible that one of the pairs may lose their way.  That’s what has made the second half of this season so exciting to watch. 

That said – Glenn MUST find Maggie, because their story is the heart of this show.

The episode opens with Tara furiously scribbling direction notes on her hand in the back of a truck.  One note simply reads ‘BUS’.  The truck stops, and walkers claw at the back of the tank.  Tara jumps up with her gun, ready to fire, when the red head in the truck barks ‘DO NOT FIRE THAT WEAPON’ and hops out of the driver’s side.  He proceeds to take unabashed glee in demolishing the three walkers with a crowbar.  Tara stares at him and says, “never seen that before…you smiled.  You were smiling.”  He responds, “well I’m the luckiest guy in the world” and asks for Tara’s help moving the cars in the road.  Somehow I like this guy already.  He seems like a aggressive weirdo with good intentions.

Elsewhere, Michonne and Carl sit down for a family breakfast.  Here starts the Lifetime movie portion of the episode.  A broken woman who has lost the ability to feel pairs up with a man and his son who have lost hope.  After a few rough starts, they come together and learn to love again and magically become a family that lives happily ever after.  If it weren’t for the ceaseless threat of walker violence this sequence in the house would make great “television for women”.

Carl and Michonne engage in some banter about her attire and soymilk.  I am not sure if Michonne has ever smiled on the show, but here she grins ear to ear, and it’s a refreshing sight.  She appears to have fully adopted Carl as her own in her mind.   Mid anecdote, Carl remembers Judith and pops up from the table, mumbling something about finishing a book.

Michonne finds a disheveled Rick in the kitchen, aimlessly rummaging through drawers.  They totally have a ‘moment’ as Michonne asks Rick if the house is “home or a stop along the way”.  Rick isn’t sure, and Michonne states that she’s going to take Carl out for supplies.  She assumes the role of head of the family, making the decision to go out and get supplies, and convinces Rick to rest.  Michonne and Carl head out, and Rick gives Carl his gun.

Rick limps upstairs and re-bandages his wound.  He checks the time on Carol’s watch, and settles down to sleep in the master bedroom.  Love that he still has Carol’s watch, especially since we know she’s back in the picture.

On the road, Michonne and Carl leave a house with bags of supplies.  Michonne reveals her Crazy Cheeze find with another huge grin.  Carl brushes her off like the sullen teenager he is, and Michonne confronts him right back.  As they approach the next house, Michonne divulges her long kept secret to Carl.  She had a three-year old son.  Carl is too shocked to respond, silently staring as Michonne proceeds to make her way into the house.  She’s all business in the front room, acting like she didn’t just drop a shocker of a revelation on Carl.  She doesn’t get off so easily, as Carl starts rapid firing questions.  Michonne briefly gets a panicked look on her face, clearly she hadn’t prepared for the barrage of Carl questions.  So she lays down ground rules.  “One question at a time, one room at a time, and only after we’ve cleared it.”  Strange games in the post apocalyptic world. 

Back at the house, Rick is deep asleep, when he wakes to sounds of men fighting.  “Please, please don’t!” Then a scream.  Ricks eyes flash open.  Rut ro.

He reaches for his gun, but had given it to Carl.  Oh Rick, how could you let your guard down?  Footsteps come up, and Rick squiggles himself under the bed.  He sees a glimpse of a rifle.  He assumes a low cobra pose under the bed.  Who knew Rick was so into yoga?  Also, he is surrounded by a sea of perfect dust bunnies.  Note to WD design people – dust bunnies don’t look like that. 

This is the scene under my bed, and it’s not even a zombie apocalypse. TMI?  #mostlydogfur

A mysterious man flops onto the bed above Rick, trapping him.

Oblivious of their unexpected houseguests, Michonne and Rick continue to hunt for supplies.  Michonne stares at some brightly colored paintings on the wall.  The colors are reminiscent of the cat she took from the bar when she helped Carl get the picture of Lori. Carl starts in with the questions again, more cautiously this time, and Michonne provides answers.  Her son’s name was Andre Anthony, she didn’t have any other kids, and Andre was a handful just like Carl.  Carl asks how long it’s been, and Michonne says “It happened after everything happened”.  Rick doesn’t know, because she “never told anyone, not until now”.  Carl gulps, realizing the significance of the moment, and promises not to tell anyone.   

Carl wanders down the hall to investigate another room, and Michonne opens a wrapped picture to reveal a painting of a woman with garish red splashes over her face.  The picture is deeply unsettling, even more so given that the rest of the pictures are cheery and bright.  She takes a sideways glance down the hall then sidles into a bathroom that leads into a baby’s room, very apropos for the theme of her and Carl’s day.  I appreciated the detail of the spider webs swaying on the bookcase, giving a deserted and haunted feel to the house.  Michonne then wanders into the next room.  It’s clearly a little girl’s room, painted bubble gum pink.  As her eyes adjust to the room, Michonne takes in the full weight of what the room has actually become.  It’s a mausoleum.  Four small bodies lie on two twin beds, all shot in the head at point blank range.  As Michonne carefully walks around, she is respectful and doesn’t disturb a single item in the room.  She becomes teary, and brusquely wipes away her tears.   A figure in the corner startles her, and she turns to see a female’s body in a rocking chair, skull blown to bits.  Simultaneously horrifying and sweet, it’s probably one of the most touching ‘finds’ on the show to date. 

Michonne backs out of the room and hastily closes the door. Carl comes up and says “there’s a baby in there”, to which Michonne responds, “it’s a dog”.  Here I think, how did Michonne NOT smell the stench of five decomposing bodies in that room before she opened the door?  That smell would certainly have been enough to deter most people from entering that room, but I suppose it’s possible that olfactory performance in the living becomes compromised in a world filled with decomposing corpses on the move.

Carl opens up about Judith, and says that maybe she and Andre are together somewhere.  This makes Michonne smile, and jostles her new adopted sons shoulder lovingly and says “you dad will wonder where we are if we’re late”.  This would definitely qualify as a Lifetime Movie Moment in my book….if there weren’t a family who ‘opted out’ rotting away in the very next room.

Back at the house, Rick’s dealing with a fresh hell, trapped underneath the rickety bed slats.  Another man enters the room, telling the other that he’s going to have to “lay claim somewhere else”.  The two goons get into a physical fight, and Goon #1 sees Rick under the bed.  Rick tilts his head quizzically at the man as his assailant finishes off his sleeper hold, and he passes out.  Goon #2 cackles, “my bed now, jackoff” and flops onto the bed.

Glenn wakes up in the moving truck, and Tara cares for him, coaxing him to drink some water.  The writers were definitely thinking ahead when they set Tara’s sexuality up to make her the perfect travel companion for Glenn.

Tara tells Glenn that they’ve been driving for three hours, they passed the bus long ago and everyone was dead.  Glenn stops the truck, and the red head confronts him. Red heads name is Abraham, and he neatly introduces himself as well as the midriff baring Rosita Espinosa and the mullet rocking Dr. Eugene Porter.  He drops the bomb - “We’re on a mission to get Eugene to Washington DC.  Eugenes a scientist and he knows exactly what caused this mess.”  Jigga- whaaaa?? 

Side note – Unfortunately I had already spoiled this surprise for myself by reading a synopsis of the comics on Wikipedia. I felt the electricity of the moment here, but not the surprise.  PSA: Spoilers are bad, kids.

Both groups stand in silence, and Glenn asks a follow up question, to which Eugene responds, “It’s classified”.  Seriously dude?  The world is ending, the government appears to be in shambles, there’s zero infrastructure.  There will be no consequences if you tell people what’s going on.  I do not like Eugene.

Abraham asks for Glenn’s help, and Glenn says he can’t, and starts walking.  Tara follows him like the devoted puppy dog she is and says she knows how to get him back to the bus.  Abraham follows and tells Glenn that he wont find his wife, alive or dead. “Sorry to tell you, shes gone.  No need for you to die too.  Get back in the truck, do something with your life.”  This incenses Glenn.  He stops and clocks Abraham square in the jaw which incites some sort of anger in him, and he tackles Glenn.  Tara tries to stop him, but Abraham tosses her off handily.  Walkers start to emerge in the cornfields, moving toward the sound.  Ahhhh!  Children of the coooorrrnnnnn!  Eugene makes a lame attempt at getting Rosita and Abraham’s attention, and then clumsily starts firing a machine gun which he has zero business using. Carl is immediately unseated as the ultimate ammo-waster on the show; Eugene is the king of the idiots now.

Tara and Glenn walk up to the truck and casually grab weapons to help.  Once the walkers have been eliminated, Abraham turns around to see that the trucks gas line has been breached.  His reaction – “Son of a dick”.  I like you Abe.  I really, really like you.

Rick creeps out from underneath the bed now that Goon #2 is snoozing.  He stealthily gets to standing and sneaks into a side room just as Goon #3 wanders up the stairs.  Rick tries the windows in vain, but obviously cant smack at them to get them open.  He snatches a trophy as a makeshift weapon. 

As Rick scrambles to escape, the goons chat.  “There’s a woman shackin’ up in here”.  They found a shirt.  She washed it, and left it, indicating to them that she would be back.  One man calls ‘dibs’ when she gets back.  Ew.  Gross.  These are some bad, bad men. 

Rick sidles into the bathroom and finds a goon perched on the toilet..  Rick takes no time in strangling the man to death, and commandeers his weapon.  He manages to get the bathroom window open, and has the foresight to leave the door open for when the goon reanimates.  Rick does his best Spiderman as he crouches on the roof, then silently drops from the gutter and readies his position for a possible attack.  He gets around to the front of the house, as the ball-bouncing goon walks out front.  These goons have good timing.

Unidentified goon starts spitting off the side of the porch, whistling a chilling tune.  Rick sees Michonne and Carl coming down the road and steadies himself to attack the goon.  Rick has become a killing machine, willing to kill as a first resort instead of compromise.  This is not a world of compromise, especially with these men. However, Rick doesn’t have to put his newfound priorities to work.  With impeccable timing, his zombie plant comes to life and creates a distraction so he can scramble away toward Carl and Michonne.

Back on the road, Abe chastises Eugene for “killing the truck” he says that a camel packed with C4 couldn’t take the truck down.  Eugene gives a robotic weird response.  Rosita picks up the very conveniently dropped pic of Maggie, handing it to Glenn, asking, ‘is this yours?”  Glenn grabs the pic and returns the gun, and Tara follows suit.  Rosita makes the decision to follow them, and says “what the hell else are we gonna do?”  Abraham protests, but then Eugene says they’ll find another vehicle, and they’ll go with Glenn and Tara until they do.  Eugene snarkily adds, “Trust me, I’m smarter than you”.  They follow. 

A ways down the road, Tara starts questioning Abraham.  He says he wants to save the world, but Tara isn’t fooled.  She breaks it down for him, saying that she knows Rosita will follow Abraham anywhere, and Eugene needs his help, but why is Abraham going?  She says, “you don’t have to tell me why, just don’t lie to me.” 

Side note – Tara seems to be the new Dale/Hershel of the bunch.  As much as I miss those two characters, it’s refreshing to not have the moral voice of the show be the ‘wise old man’ cliché.  This makes me sad though, because if Dale and Hershel’s arcs on the show are any indication, Tara’s got about one more season to go before she meets her end.

On the move, the Grimes-Katana Gang wander down the train tracks, and see a sign of possible hope.  Redemption.  “What do you think?” Mich asks Rick.  ‘Lets go” he says.  The camera pulls back to reveal the sign - Sanctuary for all.  Community for all.  Those who arrive survive.  

YES. 

Amazing episode.  Questions – How long before everyone arrives at Terminus?  We know that Tyreese, Carol, Meeka, Lizzie and Judith are headed there, but will everyone arrive?  In the past, separated loved ones have always reunited on the show, so I have hope that the writers will not ‘leave us hanging’ with any one of these story lines.  Tyreese and Sasha, Beth and Maggie, Judith, Rick and Carl, and, most importantly Glenn and Maggie will reunite.  The question is – will it be before the end of the season?  Please?

Also, as evidenced by Rick putting on a jacket while escaping from the house, as well as the timetable of the episodes – Winter Is Coming. Another GoT reference for sure, but my guess is that the change in seasons will have dire ramifications for all our heroes in the episodes to come.

Walking Dead - Too Far Gone Recap

Too much for me.  It was like the writers wanted to pack as many gut punches into the shows 44 minute run time as possible.  But not in a way that serviced the story.  Odd.  At the end of the episode, our gang is separated, and no one got what they wanted.  The governor morphed into an irrational crazy man, and all his 'people' followed him like deaf, dumb and blind sheep.  To me, this development didn’t make sense, and I mostly disliked this episode.  However I did feel like it was supposed to serve as a cleansing.  Ultimately the episode piqued my interest for the second half of the season, even if it was a bit uneven and nonsensical. 

The episode opens on the Governor talking his crew into storming the jail.  He calmly explains he has “a plan to do it without anyone getting hurt”.  The Governor’s ace in the hole is that he has captured Michonne and Hershel.  He explains to his crew that he has them.  Wide eyed innocent Tara shoots back, “you TOOK them?!?”  The governor ignores her and goes on to say that he wants to take the prison peacefully, but the crew needs to be prepared to kill. 

After the Governor rattles off a few unfounded claims as to why the prison gang deserves to be ousted, Tara starts off a chain reaction of agreement to the plan.  Apparently all the people in the Governor’s new crew are all lemmings. 

(Side note – Sometimes the WD writers introduce characters that make me think, “I wonder how these people survived all this time?”  Case in point, the people living in cell block D in 'Infected'.  At this point, I would say that most of the people who are left should be relatively savvy and make calculated decisions.  But this group is just so openly and quickly trusting of the Governor and his moronic plan, it feels like this episode is setting up a conflict just for the sake of conflict, and not to service the story.  I know that in the comic, the denizens of Woodbury were the ones to follow the Governor, not some random group of rag tag campers that had just met him.  Regardless, for the sake of entertainment I’ll let this point go.)

Lilly comes out, arms crossed and chastises the Governor.  She says, “You said they weren’t all bad people.”  He counters, “Well, they’re with bad people.”  She lamely asks, “Am I?”.  The Governor tells her that he loves her, and she recoils in disgust and confusion. 

(Side note - Once again, what is going on here with the character development?  Why is Lilly the only one to question what the Governor is doing, and why on earth doesn’t she leave at this point?  It seems as if throughout this entire episode, characters felt they needed to stubbornly stick with decisions they had made, even when they were starting to look like terribly horrible choices.  Lilly sticks by the Governor simply because she had hitched her wagon to him a few weeks prior, and the Governor’s crew sticks by him even when they are offered an out by Rick.  But we’ll get to that….)

Back in Mitch’s camper, the Governor tends to a hostile Michonne’s head wound, while Hershel tries to calmly reason with the Governor.  He says that he can see that the Governor has changed, and that they can try to all live together in the prison.  The Governor can’t accept that.  He says, “There’s all kinds of ways to do this….this way you get to live and I get to be….”  He trails off.  I personally believe that he was about to say “I get to be a hero”, which would be a call back to the previous episode where the Governor details a childhood encounter with his brother, the ‘hero’ from his previous life.  Power corrupts, and is addictive.  By joining the campers, he succumbed to that addiction again.  It’s not enough for him to work at a democracy inside the prison with a group of people he was once at war with.  Nope.  He needs to be the monarch.

Back at the prison, Glen and Maggie canoodle and talk about a vacation for their anniversary.  Adorable.  Maggie mentions a local waterfall, and Glenn jokes saying, ‘I’ll go load up the station wagon’.  They hug, and Maggie says she’ll go get him some water.  Apparently Maggie has never watched any horror movies, because she utters the four words that ensure that chaos will erupt: “Ill be right back.”

Cut to Daryl and Rick talking about Carol.  Daryl is furious that he wasn’t consulted about the decision to exile her, and seems a bit worried about Carol in general.  Apparently Daryl doesn’t think that Carol made the right decision either.  He says, “That ain’t her.”  Rick says he needs to go talk to Tyreese about the situation, and Daryl says he’ll join him.

There’s a short but sweet moment here with Bob and Sasha, where she thanks him for helping save her life.  Bob has a weird creepy mystery box. 

Rick and Daryl find Tyreese in the tombs, and it appears as if Tyreese has found some sort of disturbing dismembered mouse art.  He goes on a rant about finding who did this.  He says hes not going to sleep until they do.  Well, Tyreese, stop whining like a brat and start doing something about it.  (Side note - I still can’t wait for Tyreese to die.    He has done nothing but be annoying from the start of this season.)  Too bad the guys don’t get a chance to discuss more, because a huge boom comes from above. 

Everyone runs out of the prison, into the yard.  From above, they see the Governor’s men, vehicles formed into a ‘V’, with the tank at the center.  The camera pans back to a nice complementary shot of our gang standing in a ‘V’, with Rick at the center, denoting that a showdown is most certainly about to occur.

The Governor calls out for Rick, and Rick counters by stating that there’s a council now.  The Governor sneers, and says, “Is Hershel on the council?  How about Michonne?”  He reveals his two captives.  Rick is taken aback, but tries to insist that he doesn’t make the decisions anymore.  The Governor pushes back, and tells him that he needs to make the decisions today. 

Rick looks over to Daryl who nods at him, as does his deputy Carl.  He starts down towards the small army, pistol at his hip.

As Rick works his way down the hill, Daryl gives instructions to the rest of the gang and starts arming the able bodied.  He lets them know to get everyone on the bus, and that the bus needs to leave if anything goes wrong.

Cut to an undisclosed location where Lilly is the only one from the camping crew not at the prison.  She stares across the water at a walker struggling to make it across.  Meghan calls for her help to dig in the mud, but Lilly is fixated on the walker.  Lilly’s making all sorts of bad choices in this episode, including letting her daughter roll around in the mud in a world with no showers.  The walker falters and falls, and Lilly puts her gun away.  Meghan unearths a sign that says “Flash Flood Area”, which was conveniently washed away atop a walker.  The walker grabs Meghan and takes a big munch out of her shoulder.  Lilly sprints down to Meghan and shoots the walker in the face.  Too late.  

Back at the prison, Rick has made his way to the fence.  He pleads with the Governor to reconsider.  He says there are children there, and some are sick.  This gives pause to a few of the Governor’s crew.  The Governor says he doesn’t care, and starts firing shots at approaching walkers.  And just in case Rick hasn’t been paying attention to basic walker behavior all this time, the Governor verbalizes that the noise will just draw more walkers over.  No duh, Gov. 

At the interior fence, Carl and Daryl aim at the Governor and his crew.  Carl says he can kill the Governor from right there, and that he can end it right now.  Daryl talks him out of it, saying to trust Rick and his sweet negotiating skills.

(Side note – This is the second time that someone has had a clear shot at the Governor and decided to not take it.  Andrea had her chance last season, and was stopped by Milton.  My question is, would Carl killing the Governor mid-standoff have changed anything?  I doubt very much that the camper crew would have just decided to back down, but maybe Rick would have been able to convince them to live in harmony instead of the massacre that occurred.)

All the kids run to the bus, Judith in tow.  (Side note - Why the hell are the children in charge of the baby?  This reinforces my belief that Beth is basically worthless.  I thought her ONE job was to take care of Judith.  Major life fail, Beth.)  Lizzie stops them and convinces her sister that they should help because Carol taught them to stand and fight.  They interpret this to mean ‘drop the baby, leave her totally unsupervised in an open area and get the guns’. 

Back at the fence, Rick tries to appeal to the Governor’s sense of humanity.  He offers up the choice that Hershel already proposed to the Governor.  Way to be on the same page, gang!  They can all live together.  Rick says it’s not going to be easy, in fact it’s going to be much harder than shooting at each other, but they can do it.   The Governor sees his control slipping away, and grabs Michonne’s katana and places it at Hershel’s throat. We get a shot of Hershel, looking like Ned Stark from Game of Thrones as he’s wearing an ancient looking shirt, and has a sword at his neck. 

Rick starts to address the entirety of the Governor’s crew, and asks if this is what any of them want.  Mitch says that they want what the gang has got, and punctuates it with a wholly unnecessary, “time for you to leave asshole!”  Rick continues to address everyone, giving them a bit more information.  He lets them know that they had fought the Governor before, and that some of the Governor’s old friends had become leaders in the prison.  What follows is an impassioned speech for humanity, saying, “let go of all of it, and no one dies.  We can still come back, we’re not too far gone.  We get to come back.  I know we all can change.”

Best. Speech. Ever.

Hershel gives Rick a small smile, thinks they’ve got this.  But the Governor whispers “LIAR” and violently slashes into Hershel’s neck. 

Worst. Moment. Ever.

 “NOOOOOOOOOOO.”  Rick screams, and all hell breaks loose.  Maggie and Beth lose their minds, and both sides start shooting.  Michonne makes her way behind the trucks to cut herself free, and a badly injured Hershel tries to wiggle away.  The Governor chooses to pursue Hershel instead of Michonne and hacks Hershel’s head from his body for no apparent reason.  (Quick side note - This calls to mind the heads in tanks in Woodbury.)  Just then, Lilly walks up with Megan in her arms.  The Governor takes no time in shooting her head off.   Seriously?  This is just too much.  There are just too many reasons why this scene is ridiculous and unnecessary overkill.

The tank starts to rumble towards the prison, tearing down the fences.  Our gang stoically stands their ground.  Lots of the Governor’s new family goes down, and the tank starts haphazardly shooting at the actual prison walls.  Bad idea if you want to take it for any protective reason whatsoever.  Mitch is an idiot.

Maggie instructs Beth to get everyone on the bus, invoking Hershel as she says, “we’ve all got jobs to do.”  Maggie successfully gets Glenn on the bus, but doesn’t see Beth who went to go find Judith.  Yeah, Beth, you were supposed to be watching her this whole time.  But you just saw your dad get executed, so we’ll cut you a little slack. 

Amidst the melee, the Governor and Rick start fist fighting. 

Daryl starts casually tossing hand grenades into the mix, sprinkling a little smoke into this shit stew of a situation.  In another corner of the yard, an unarmed Maggie finds Sasha and Bob and asks about Beth.  They don’t know where she is.  Bob gets shot in the shoulder.  While the three of them are searching for the exit wound, the bus drives off. 

Tyreese is shooting at the advancing opposition from a raised garden bed, and is almost a goner when Meeka and Lizzie appear with guns drawn.  The sight of children with guns drawn is a bit shocking, and Lizzie takes the advantage to shoot down two of the Governor’s people in cold blood.  Tyreese is shocked, but quickly springs out of the garden bed, telling the girls that they have to get out of there. 

In the yard, the Governor starts to strangle Rick to death, when Michonne comes up from behind, and stabs him through the chest.  The Governor gasps, and falls to the ground a few feet away.  Michonne watches as Rick catches his breath and asks for Carl.  “Where’s Carl?”  Michonne replies, “I don’t know.”  Michonne walks up to the Governor but for some reason doesn’t deliver the death blow. 

Daryl tosses a grenade into the tank, which explodes.  Mitch evacuates, only to have Daryl shoot him in the heart.  (Quick side note – Is this the first live person we’ve seen Daryl kill? I believe it is.)  Beth runs up and says that she was trying to find the kids.  Daryl surveys the rapidly advancing walkers and says, “We gotta go Beth, we gotta go.”  They run off to the fences. 

Rick calls for Carl, and he comes out of nowhere.  They embrace, and Rick asks about Judith.  Carl says, “I don’t know”.  They stagger over to a car seat, which appears to be soaked in blood.  (Side note – Press pause on the car seat, and it looks like bloody fingers might have reached in to grab the baby and save her….but that’s probably just wishful thinking).  Carl goes berserk on a zombie, firing round after round.  Rick stumbles over to him and grabs him, saying, “We gotta go.  Its over.” 

Walkers start to take over the prison, as the Governor slowly bleeds out in the yard.  A blood soaked Lilly calmly walks over and shoots him in the face. 

Carl and Rick stumble up the hill.  Rick says, “Don’t look back Carl, keep walking.”

Final thought – No one ‘killed’ Hershel’s head.  That makes me very sad.  I hope this is addressed in the next episode, but I doubt it.

Doug Loves Movies - 5 Reasons Why

As I write this, I am sitting in the crowded waiting room of a Honda dealership, waiting for the front brakes to be replaced on my car. 

I am certain the people around me think I am insane.  It’s my own fault.  I can’t stop laughing because I’m listening to Doug Benson’s podcast ‘Doug Loves Movies’.  Attempts to muffle my laughter just end up with me snarfing into my winter jacket, and that’s just super unattractive.  So now I’m not only crazy, I’m also the gross girl with snarf all over her coat sleeve.  I really shouldn’t listen to these things in public places.

If you’re not familiar with DLM, the structure of an episode is pretty basic.  The first half is essentially a talk show about movies, during which Doug chats with his guests about the most recent films they’ve seen.  Following the chat portion of the show, the guests are challenged to play against one another in a variety of movie trivia games, setting the stakes by selecting an audience member to play for.

I have a 45-minute commute to and from work.  Listening to DLM consistently ensures that the time flies by, making it hands down my favorite podcast of 2013.   Here’s why it should be yours too.

One – As I mentioned above, DLM is frequently laugh-out-loud funny.  Doug usually invites 3 – 4 guests to each episode, and he’s a natural and gregarious host.  If it sounds as if you’re listening in on friends chatting at a dinner party, that’s probably because the guest list is often populated with Doug’s close pals.  It helps that Doug’s friends include famous funny people such as Adam Scott, Sarah Silverman, Amy Schumer, Scott Aukerman, and Jon Hamm.  (Side note – Even stripped of his handsome card due to the audio-only format of DLM, Jon Hamm is consistently one of the funniest, quickest and most engaging guests on the show.  Once, during an impromptu conversation about the Tom Hanks weepie, Hamm once made a joking, off the cuff reference to Philadelphia as ‘the place where AIDS was perfected’, making me think he has a back up career in stand up if this whole gorgeous actor gig doesn’t work out for him.)

Practically Perfect in Every Way.
He's like the male Mary Poppins.  Only hotter.  Much, much hotter.  And funnier too.

Two – The podcast engages your brain.  Yes, you read that right.  As a self-proclaimed movie enthusiast, I consistently delight in the part of the show where the games are played.  Sure, the games aren’t too taxing on the brain, but they are definitely good fun.  The simplest of the bunch is called ‘How Much Did This Shit Make’, in which Doug asks guests to estimate how much a given movie made in total domestic box office sales.  (Side note - My favorite part is that Price is Right regulations are adhered to, so guesses need to be made without going over the actual amount.)

The mother of all games on DLM is the ‘Leonard Maltin Game’, which is played using Maltin’s movie review app.  Maltin sometimes even gets in on the action by stopping by and guesting on the show in person.  Spoiler alert – he pretty much sucks at the game, but it’s fun to listen to him play.  I won’t go into full detail about the game here.  Like most party games, it’s difficult to explain, but easy to learn once you listen in on a few rounds.  Suffice to say, each category tickles your brain to come up with long forgotten facts.  Adding to the fun, if you come up with an answer and the guest just isn’t getting it, you can shout at your radio with undeserved righteous abandon.  “How can you be wrong Ken Jennings?!?!? The answer was SO obvious! OMG AM I SMARTER THAN YOU?!”  By the properties of logic, since I’ve bested Ken Jennings at random movie trivia from the privacy of my Honda Civic, I’d kill it on Jeopardy.  Right?  Don’t answer that.  I’m totally right.

Three – You can experience the podcast live and in person. Although the show is based out of the UCB Theater in LA, Doug frequently travels and stops in all sorts of cities around the country.  Thankfully he makes frequent trips to NYC, because I’ve seen DLM at the Grammercy Theater in NYC multiple times, and each time is more fun than the last.  The Grammercy has a bar at which adult beverages can be purchased, increasing the fun level all the way to ‘11’.  Remember when I said that the guests pick an audience member to play for?  DLM fans are a fun bunch, toting along homemade nametags of all shapes and sizes to the show. Perusing the nametags is often a super entertaining part of the show.  Super extra bonus – if one of your seat neighbors brought something edible that’s not chosen by a guest, guess who gets to help eat it?  That’s right, it’s all you, you lucky devil. 

(Side note - Doug announced last week that he’s bringing DLM’s annual ’12 Guests of Christmas’ episode to NYC in December of 2014.  Who’s coming with me?  I’ll even bring an edible nametag to up the ante.)

Four – Doug and his guests often provide helpful reviews of recent (and past) movie releases. Not too much to elaborate on here, I just appreciate a good and honest conversation about a film.  Even when I disagree with the opinions presented on the podcast, I enjoy having something to ponder while I cruise down the decidedly non-scenic strip of highway that is Route 95 in Southern CT.

(Disclaimer –If you’re looking for the ‘movie’ part of Doug Loves Movies, you generally won’t find it on episodes featuring Jeff Garlin, T.J. Miller or Pete Holmes.  In fact, you probably won’t find too much of ‘Doug’ or ‘Loves’ either. Although these eps are pretty hilarious, they can be frustrating without prior warning.) 

Five – DLM has the catchiest podcast theme song I’ve ever heard.  And I listen to a LOT of podcasts.  I catch myself singing the song at random intervals throughout my day, and once even started mindlessly humming it while trying to pick a ripe avocado in the produce section of my grocery store.

Laughing uncontrollably and singing in public.....it’s a wonder no one’s tried to commit me yet.  DLM clearly makes me a little crazy, but in the best way. 

Which brings me to Five and a Half – It’s FREE on iTunes.  So no excuses.  Let DLM bring a little cheer to your commute in 2014.

Lou Reed - 5 Reasons Why

So my album of the year is not technically an album. 

This post is half cop out and half tribute.  If I’m being completely honest, year after year I lose a bit of my passion for pursuing new music.  As I put more mileage between my current self and my college self, I tend to tenaciously hold on to what I know and love, and spend less and less time exploring the unknown.

I suppose that’s why in lieu of listening to Miley Cyrus’s new album and ferociously debating her controversial ‘Wrecking Ball’ video in the last few weeks of 2013 like most hip people below the age of 25 did, I chose a different route.  

I mourned.  I mourned the death of Lou Reed, and punk, and a world where every single move by a musician wasn’t choreographed by some agent or label ravenously seeking publicity.  I mourned a time when groundbreaking artists were actually judged on the merit of and passion for their work.

Don’t get me wrong; I still give the former Ms. Montana credit for bringing music videos back into vogue, even if it was only for a brief moment.  Yet, whether she knows it or not, she owes a debt to Mr. Lou Reed.  And whether you know it or not, you do too. 

Lou Reed’s legacy looms larger than any single year or even a single decade.  He is a bonafide legend.  And legends are timeless. Need more reasons to love Reed?  The following are 5 reasons to persuade you to put down that album with the naked pop star, and pick yourself up a piece of musical history. 

One – Don’t think you know who Lou Reed is?  You do.  You definitely do.  If these songs aren’t indelibly etched in your mind, they need to be, so click on.

Walk on the Wild Side

Sunday Morning (Velvet Underground and Nico)

Perfect Day

Sound familiar?  I can practically feel you nodding.  It’s a testament to Lou Reed’s talent that you know his music before you know who he is as an individual.  Incalculable musicians have been influenced by his music, and if you don’t know the songs above, treat yourself to a belated Christmas gift and click on over to amazon and purchase either the Velvet Underground’s first album, or Lou Reed’s first solo album Transformer, produced by none other than David Bowie.  Or use iTunes or Spotify.  Or pirate it.  Rebel that he was, Lou probably wouldn’t care if you got it for free, as long as you listened.  Bottom line, just listen. 

Two – Reed was an integral part of the punk boom in New York City.  As documented in the oral history of punk "Please Kill Me", pop artist Andy Warhol’s involvement with the Velvet Underground helped legitimize the punk ‘scene’ in NYC, giving leeway to the bad behaviors of eventually groundbreaking bands such as Television, the Ramones, and Iggy and the Stooges.  If you have ever felt even a slight affinity with punk culture, or have ever lamented the loss of pre-Giuliani ‘gritty NYC’, “Please Kill Me” is required reading for your next snow day.

Three – Reed tried his best to be unlikeable but cool. He avidly followed his passion for creating music that made sense to him, audience be damned.  While his ‘punk’ contemporaries were quite loud, Reed had a subdued tone that truly felt like a Sunday morning.  His most popular albums exuded a relaxed and indifferent cool amidst a chaotic, nomadic, perpetually intoxicated life.

Four – A few months before his death, Reed took the time out to write a review of what is probably the actual best album of 2013.  Despite his near debilitating illness, he wrote a lively and engaging review of Kanye West's 'Yeezus'.  Even at deaths door, Reed had his finger to the pulse of contemporary music, and as evidenced by his near ubiquitous praise for West's album, continued to champion the idea of creating music for oneself, and not for anyone else.  

Five - Lou Reed died on October 27^th, 2013.  My fiancée Chris and I coincidentally had tickets to a Phish show that evening.  As the members of Phish have been vocal about being influenced by the works of Lou Reed, we speculated that the band would open with the Velvet Underground song, ‘Rock and Roll’.  They did.  And it was magnificent.  The entire crowd at the Hartford XL Center sang along with the words and swayed in unison.  For the majority of the concertgoers, I can only imagine that Reed’s music was a discovery made at some point in college or high school.  Whether the find was made via an album passed down from an older brother or sister, a snippet heard in a music history course, or, like me, discovered after becoming throughly intoxicated by the undulating highs and lows of 'Heroin' played in the background at a house party.  To me, Reed's fans, both young and old, remembered his music on that day.  I’d like to think that perhaps some new fans were even created in that very moment, simultaneously basking in the memory of an icon and eagerly anticipating the promise of his legacy.