I awoke with a start to this woman on my TV.
Her cloyingly soft and lilting voice was speaking to me about the avian flu, and how I could prevent it by bringing Jesus Christ into my heart. Or something. I'm half awake.
Since I have been blessed with the miracle that is a DVR (thank you Jesus!) I was able to rewind the part where she stared deep into my soul and informed me that if I pray a certain prayer I'll be forgiven for EVERYTHING! "Drugs, alcohol, promiscuity as far as sex is concerned!"
What other kind of promiscuity is there lady?! And how does this woman know what I need to be forgiven for? Creepy.
To tell the truth, for the first few minutes I thought I had fallen asleep to Adult Swim, and this was some new comic sketch segue. I mean, come on people. The womans name is REXELLA VAN IMPE!
It's all the more facinating because this shit is for real.
More on this tomorrow. Unless I've been saved by Christ.
According to Rexella salvation only costs $24.95.