I survey the room. Amoeba-shaped coffee stains permeate the rug...the stains even seem to be dying of boredom. Funny because there's no coffee here. There used to be coffee here! Why have I been to this court room so often? Twice for speeding tickets and once for an agonizing six hour day of jury duty in which my noble contribution to society as a civil servant was to read a copy of 2009 Spring Vogue cover to cover eight times. By the end of that day I fancied myself an expert on upcoming spring fashion. I blame that day for my continued love of coral and lavender nail polishes.....
Anyways, to stave off my boredom, I have decided to post my first live blog as well as my first time blogging from my phone, so please bear with me! Updates to follow.
2:54pm - A break in the boredom!
Dude next to me just told another lady that he took a Xanax before coming here. Woah guy.....if a 30 something man has to pop a pill before coming to traffic court, there are gonna be bigger problems in store for him in his future.
2:57pm - Now up comes the magistrate and I get to match faces to everyones charges...what I might argue is a very intrusive but interesting part of the court process. Like watching a live and shortened version of Peoples Court or Judge Judy, only the magistrate doesn't seem to be a sassy red headed lady. And, even more dissapointing, he doesn't have a gavel. Boo.
3:00pm - Thinking that it would be really funny if I started to carry a 'get out of jail free' card from Monopoly around with me. My sister somehow wrangled a legit 'get out of jail free' card from some official she knows....but it doesn't have the cool guy with the wings on it. I wonder what would happen if I handed one in the Monopoly-style to the magistrate....or to the next cop that pulls me over.
3:12pm - The magistrate calls me up and dismisses my case (talking on a cell phone, first offense) but only after the lawyer lady scolds me because my hands free headset looks too new. Yeah lady, I totally bought it yesterday for a ticket issued in August. I don't like change, wanna fight about it?
3:15pm - Find my way outside and retrieve my spray can of mace that I had buried in a pile of snow as I was banned from brining it into the courthouse.
Thanks for bearing with me all! Updated thoughts on courtrooming, breaking the law and live phone blogging to follow later tonight.