This is the day that the powers that be just snip an hour away from us at 2AM (when most people are presumably sleeping, but being nocturnal I am usually not) and the clock rolls from 1:59AM to 3:00AM.
Where the hell's my hour?! It's just gone. Vanished. It's not like those zillions of times where you say 'I want those one/two/three/etc hour(s) of my life back'! For example when you see a really bad movie, or that time when you were stuck on the subway for an hour next to a man that smelled like cheese and couldn't stop scratching himself. At least you would have a damned story to tell after that hour!
Last night I dolefully watched as the clock rolled forward and sealed my terrible fate for the next week.
Because my friends, I do not only get tired and cranky when Daylight Savings Time approaches. No, no. I get googly.
Let me explain. I have a condition called 'strabismus', which causes my eyes to focus differently instead of together. As a result, I cannot see 3-D (so sad), and have relatively poor depth perception when dealing with finite objects. Usually when I am not super stressed, suffering from exhaustion, inebriated or a combination of the three, my eyes can focus together thanks to a team of talented surgeons that have operated on me several times during my 26 years of life. But not on Daylight Savings. And today the googly eye was the cause of horror in not only my life, but the lives of others.
To stave off some of the DST crankiness, I went to go get my eyebrows done. At one point I thought the adorable Korean lady sculpting my brows had finished, and I looked up and around at the room. Adorable lady gasps: "Your EYES!!!".
This is likely what she saw:
I made this image smaller so as to not horrify you dear reader or any small children or pets you may have in the room. It's the GOOGLY EYE! Brought to you courtesy of sleep deprivation.
Thanks Daylight Savings. I hope the fucking farmers are happy. I am not.
3D is overrated. Four dollars more to wear glasses that may or may not give you a headache? Yeah, I'll pass.
ReplyDeleteI, too, hate DST. My brain actually turned to mush earlier and I had to nap in order to solidify it again. Unfortunately, that probably means I won't be tired at bedtime, so the whole cycle starts over. Sigh.
But then you can write another awesome blog post! And I will be up to read it, because I too had to take a nap in the middle of the day....
ReplyDeleteSweet! It's a deal.
ReplyDeleteMuppet FACE to the max!
ReplyDeleteHaHa! My husband and his friend just asked me what the fuck I was doing over here laughing like a retard?
ReplyDeleteI was TOTALLY doing the same thing at 2am! Well, not the weird eye thing, but just staring at the mother fucking computer screen...
One minute... 1:59am, then BAM 3:00am! What the fuck?
OK, I am glad you found me, because I find you awesome with a capital A! Yes you...YOU... you AND your googly eyes, which I find totally endearing...who hasn't owned something with googly eyes in their life? Who?
ReplyDeleteOsama Bin Laden? I guarantee you he had a fucking stuffed Aardvark with googly eyes or some shit...it is a natural fact! Anyway, good times with you here...you rock!
Hey Rainey, I'm here via Lacey at Apartment 513. I feel for you re: the googly eyes, but you still have me laughing my mf ass off! Your attitude's awesome!
ReplyDeleteI just read your profile and I have to say a few things:
-I also believe in UFO's (actually there's no disputing that they exist because anything flying in the sky that can't be identified is an unidentified flying object. Duh, it ain't rocket surgery. lol)
-I too subscribe to the second shooter theory. How can anyone not believe it? Besides, Oswald didn't exactly strike me as the type who could mastermind something like that all on his own.
-last and most important. I see you're a Substance Abuse Councelor. Let me say how much respect I honestly have for what you're doing. Like too many people, alcohol and drug abuse have hit very close to my life (not me, but some who are dear to me). People like you who help others are the real superstars that we should look up to, not actors and singers. You make a very real difference, and I sit here at work inconveniently getting misty-eyed (*damn*) when I think about how amazing that is.
I don't even know you but I'm SO proud of you Rainey.
Organic Meatbag: I Adore you with a capital A! And also Aardvark begins with TWO A's....and I kind of lost where I was going with this. Oh, wait, you're hysterical. Now I totally want a google-eyed Aardvark. I can carry it with me on 'googly eye' days to make myself feel better!
ReplyDeleteBarry: Thanks so much for your musings! My supervisor at work is named Barry....coincidence, I think not! I want you to know I appreciate your kind words from the bottom of my heart. The field is tough sometimes, and today was definitely a day where I needed to hear some positive feedback. So thank you! You're an angel for being so kind to an unknown bloggista like me! (Also, your blog is super fantastic!)
I think you may have set the record for the shortest time from reading my comment to following my blog. I'll see that and raise you one, 'cause between helping others and making me laugh I think you're well worth following.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I was able to make even a small impact on your day, I would imagine that they're filled with almost instantaneous highs and lows. Is there a place where I can read more about what you do?
Hahaha. I like setting records.
ReplyDeleteActually I think I might start posting on this site about my job. Random stories and such. Nothing work-specific has inspired me to write in the past week though. I did blog a bit about my experience as a counselor and some techniques I utilize in posts from January and February when I was blogging about treating my weight loss as a type of rehab program.