Saturday, March 13, 2010

You Have Strange Teeth

Last night I had a conversation that I had never thought of having in my whole life.

I overheard my boyfriend Chris ordering something on the phone, and in doing so he needed to give a confirmation code that consisted of letters and numbers. He was using male names to get the point efficiently accross.

"B as in Brian, G as in Gary, C as in Chris, G as in Gary...."

You get the (quite boring) picture.

We then had a forgettable conversation that basically consisted of me saying that I usually get stuck when I need to do something like that. I feel like I am totally on the spot to come up with words that not only sound like no other word, but also are somewhat interesting. What happens is that I stumble through words like 'E as in Elephant' or 'U as in Umbrella'. Generally I end up sounding like a kindergarten teacher with an awkward stutter. (Eeeeee.....Elllllll....Ellllaaaappphaaant? Elephant. E as in Elephant! Yes, also the seventh letter of that confirmation code.)

As this ridiculous issue becomes more and more of a nuisance in my life, I suppose I'll just have to come up with some sort of system like the Armed Forces utilizes. Maybe I could memorize it. I could smartly sound off on words such as Alpha! Bravo! Charlie! My favorite (and, yeah, I totally googled that shit) is W as in Whiskey. Whiskey? Really? Do we really want our troops screaming about whiskey when life and death could potentially be on the line? Do I really want to say Whiskey when confirming a code in my office?

Maybe it's because I am repulsed by whiskey. I can almost definitely say that if it was V as in Vodka I would be whistling a different tune.

But I digress.

I didn't think about my personal representative-word alphabet again. Until I came home today.

Chris was laughing in front of the computer, and showed me an e-mail of another confirmation number on his computer screen. In speaking to a representative on the phone today, he blurted out " in You Have Strange Teeth".

I couldn't stop laughing. How ingenious! Just use standout sentences! Thankfully the woman on the other end of the line did not in fact have strange teeth and was quite amused instead of enraged, which I imagine someone who actually did have dental problems would be. Or all paranoid, like, WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME??

I am totally adopting a new system.


  1. I can COMPLETELY identify with your anxiety over finding words to match the letters! For me, it's always like, "" Although, I must say, having a toddler is giving me lots of practice, so I'm getting marginally better.

    That picture is going to haunt my dreams.

  2. Oh believe me there were some other pictures that were WAY creepier. I tried to spare people the horror. This man is more like a wacky janitor from a Disney movie? Actually, where the hell is he exactly? Poor planning on my part I guess. I got the teeth part right at least!

    I'm glad to know I'm not alone in my word struggle!

  3. hahahahaha this is a funny post. I loled.

  4. Haha, let us know when the new system is developed that we may spread it far and wide across this great interwub-blogosphere.

  5. Penguinboxers, once I develop a formula, I'm definitely going to have to test it. Of course, I'll need some test participants. Two qualifications: One, you must be breathing, and Two, willing to deal with overseas customer service. Won't you join me?