I come in to work this morning and there is a message on my voice mail from a client that has just been recently released from jail. I call her back immediately. thinking that she is going to be upset and frantic because she had been arrested in the middle of an important phase of treatment.
Me: "Hey lady! I got your message. How you holding up?"
'Lady'*: "I got bailed out this morning. I'm looking to get into this other program now, but I wanted to touch base with you."
Me(slightly baffled at Lady's chipper tone of voice): "Oh, okay? Uhmmmmm....do you need any numbers?"
Lady: "Yeah, maybe one for a detox. They kept me on my medication in jail, and I loved that they had coffee. It was fun."
Me(fighting the urge to ask if Lady is, at this moment, high): "Fun, hmm?"
Lady: "Well, you know, not fun fun, but coffee always makes everything better."
Damn. She had me there. Personally I've never been to jail so I have no clue. I have however consumed copious amounts of coffee, so I do know that it has the amazing ability to make the world shine brighter.
However, I really couldnt tell you how much coffee I would have to consume to make it 'fun' to wear an orange jumpsuit or take a shit in a miniature room full of other people. Probably enough to make me hallucinate an alternate reality where those things weren't happening.
After my 'Lucky Charms' themed post yesterday, it was only fitting that childrens cereal came to find me again today.
My co-worker Deb came into my office and we started talking about one of our supervisors in the clinic. Now, let me explain for one second. My supervisor is a fabulously calm, kind, centered and positive thinking man. He also happens to be bald, has very large moony eyes and a crooked smile.
Deb told me that the clients were referring to our supervisor as 'Frankenberry'. She made me look it up on Google.
Can you imagine Frankenberry helping you through a bad trip? Interacting with him when you had a hangover? Bringing your mom to hash through the countless times you stole a C-Note from her purse to go cop in New York City? I would never look at cereal the same again.
*Names and identifying features of my clients will ALWAYS be changed to protect anonymity. For all you people know, this could be a tranny granny from Cincinatti.