I got close to zero sleep last night. If I'm generous to myself I would say I got two and a half hours of sleep. Now, to be clear, I am not saying this with an air of superiority or bragging like I used to do all the time in college. Not even in the 'I just discovered the magical powers of coffee and I am going to ride this train until I collapse motherfuckers!' This is more in the 'I'm bleary eyed and still have creases on my face from the pillow as I walk out the door, but people are waiting on me to go to a really important meeting at another agency' way.
Now when faced with the situation of having to get up early as a semi-adult, why the hell does it always involve me getting dressed up for some reason? I either have to go to a wedding (fun!), funeral (can't even be placed near a category meaning 'fun' or any derivative thereof), meeting (NOT FUN), or job interview (jangles the ol' anxiety nerve, so not fun either).
Of course, trying to be a sensible adult I placed my clothing out the night before so that I would have something all picked out and raring to go when I got out of the shower.
My mistake was not picking out my shoes. And this is where exhaustion said "I think you're going to make some really crazy choices today!"
Between stylish matching rainboots (in consideration due to recent flooding in the area) and Mary Jane stiletto-like heels, what did I select? Oh, that would be the stiletto. Why? I dont know. Here is a picture comparsion of the two shoes:
You can clearly see that this choice was not made by a sane human being. Especially not one that values dry feet.
Next crazy choice. Impulsively purchasing a coffee mug at Starbucks.
Methinks this was a good and sane choice. Score one for exhaustion.
Last crazy choice was perhaps to NOT take this sign that has been lying on the ground on my street since hurricane-force winds knocked it off the hinges three days ago:
You see, even my dog is looking at me like 'Why don't you just take it??!!"
But, alas. At this point my exhaustion became too much for me and I couldn't even muster the energy to carry the sign home. Not sure what I would do with it.
If it's still there in the morning perhaps I will reconsider.
I also had the worst sleep EVER last night. And yeah, same thing. It's all fine and good and well and dandy when you don't have important grownup things to do but here I am like 18 hours after getting out of bed with work to be done and readings due tomorrow and I'm like "seriously? will I survive this?"
ReplyDeleteYou will survive! Just bust out some Gloria Gaynor and blast it to the heavens.
ReplyDeleteHowever, be very wary of poor choices regarding footwear.
Oh, wow. Covet the mug and NEED the footwear. Um, both pairs. Am inspired to fill in gaping holes in my wardrobe. Immediately.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED to lay my clothing out in such a manner that it appeared a small girl had just teleported away and left behind her oshkosh b'gosh jumper and hush puppies. I would even tuck my stockings into my shoes. I totally have to start that up again!
ReplyDeleteJuli, you're the best! However, I do have favorites. And my favorites are the boots.
ReplyDeleteI think I figured out why I chose the heels. And that is because I had forgotten I owned boots, even though they were on my living room floor.
Take the 'One Way Do Not Enter' sign to work and put it somewhere that'll trick people into leaving you the hell alone so you can read/chill/nap for a few hours.
ReplyDeleteTAKE THE SIGN TAKE THE SIGN TAKE THE SIGN TAKE THE SIGN TAKE THE SIGN TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!
ReplyDeletePlease?
Ah! Barry and Penguinboxers you're too late! Well, I was too late too, because between this post and yesterday morning the sign was reattached to the fence.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I have not inspected how well it is attached....must do some recon....I really like Barry's idea of bringing the sign to work.
I have that same mug! Got it as a grad present YEARS ago and it's my fav mug!
ReplyDelete