Sunday, March 21, 2010

Why Can't My Car Have A Flux Capacitor Instead?

So I have to apologize for yesterdays post.

It was most definitely the product of too little sleep, and too much driving.

I have gotten far more sleep since the horrific mouse post debacle, but have done WAY more driving than I would care to admit. More driving on the docket for today as I slowly continue to cart massive amounts of STUFF from Old Apartment* to New House.

Last night as I drove back from New House at 3:30am, I was looking at the speedometer on the car:


(Yes, I'm a total daredevil, picturephoning while driving at speeds of 67mph!)
Notice how fast I'm going? Now, notice what top speed the little gauge allows for. That's right. 150mph. That is hella fast.

Where does Honda think I'm going? The Autobahn?! Could this car even really get UP to speeds of 150mph? And then I remembered, that in the past I have tempted fate and tested the tantalizing limits of the speed-dial. "To dreeeeam the impossible dreeeeeam!!!"

But, I must tell you. I did it in this:

Oh yes my friends. That is a bright-yellow New Beetle. The car my little sixteen year old self learned to drive in.

I would take the car to and from work, 25 minutes away. As I worked as a waitress, I often left work at late night hours and would have the road to myself when I left. That's when I decided I was a Nascar racer.

I would slowly increase the pressure on the gas pedal, the car beginning to wobble at around 88mph. Doc Brown was wrong, there was no flash. I didn't make it back in time. However, the Beetle wasn't equipped with a flux capacitor so I guess that was too much to wish for.

A crazy singing noise coming from a combination of the whipping winds and the engine at 104mph. "WooooooHeeeeeeeAhhhhOOohhhhhIIIIIAmmmmmFlyyyyiinngggIIIICaaannnn'tStooooppppppppppp!!!"

Violent shaking and a knocking noise from the engine at 117mph. Even at the immortal age of sixteen, I knew that was enough. Well, besides that, the car wouldn't go any faster. I would slow the car down, probably a little too quickly weaving dangerously in and out of lanes. It's quite amazing that I never got snagged by a cop. Maybe at speeds of 117mph a car becomes invisible? That must be it.

Quite frequently I would make the 25 minute trip home from work in 12 minutes. But even though I flew close to the sun, I never made it to the end of the speedometer. I don't think I ever will. Especially not with a car full of my prized possessions, such as my juicer and lei collection.

* As I typed that, I got a flash of the Barenaked Ladie song 'Old Apartment'. Note to self: Must remember to listen to that song in self-indulgent nostalgia trip prior to completely moving....


  1. You little daredevil, you!

    I think we've all thought about pushing the lmits, but I get very scared driving fast speeds. Usually it was a boyfriend who would try it and I'd freak out. I'm impressed at your gumption, girl!

  2. Grandma syphilis does NOT approve! I miss your little yellow bug and how you would yell at me for touching the gear shifter.

  3. Haha. Weren't we all 16 once. Probably fortunately for me, my cars wouldn't even go that fast. I always knew if I got a fast car I'd probably kill myself. I distinctly remember passing a friend on a blind corner at night once...

  4. I too felt the need to push the limits when I was a teenager. My first car was a Monte Carlo SS and being a fast car, I just HAD to test it out. I got up to 120 mph before I figured it was time to stop. Boy was I stupid.

  5. This is a great post, it made my first visit to your blog very interesting... See you soon

  6. That scares me! I'm glad you are alive to blog today.

    Also..."flux capacitor" is about the coolest thing they could have called it, isn't it? It just sounds awesome.

  7. That speed could be a little scary in a Beetle, it's not really meant for it unfortunately. I once took my Prelude out on a deserted stretch of highway and got it up to 138mph, wanted to see what it could do just once. I love to drive fast but there's no where to do it, besides I'd hate to see THAT speeding ticket!

  8. Thanks all for the comments! My curiosity still lies with why the speedometer goes alllll the way up to 150mph when clearly the car is NOT meant to handle it.

    I'd also like to let you all know that the need for speed seems to be out of my system now. I have no desire to end up like Goose.

  9. The fastest I managed to get my old car up to 105. I haven't tried on my new car, but even though the speedometer says 150, I don't have a stretch of road long enough to test that theory :(

  10. My race car driver wings got clipped with 3 speeding tickets :( Wow it was fun being young!

  11. Okay this post is just too funny! I'm supposed to be winding down for bed. Thanks!

    My absolute favourite line? "Maybe at speeds of 117mph a car becomes invisible?" . Yep I think thats a scientific fact.

    If you were in Australia you would have been driving at 190 kilometres per hour. That's practically warp speed.

    Thanks for the visit today . Looking forward to getting to know you!

  12. Yeah they must just have stock speedometers nnd use the same one for every car or something

  13. I too was a teenage daredevil, I would go up to 70 on the dirt road where I grew up, very very stupid! I think rolling my car scared the need for speed right out of me, and now I try to drive like a grandma! I'm glad we are both alive and well today!

  14. @Another David: Living in New England, there are very few stretches of road that I can play on. Thus no more aspirations of being a Nascar racer.

    @Chicken: Oh the speeding tickets! I've had my share! It's fun to go to the court as a teenager full of nonsense and contend the ticket with the judge. "But your like Excellency, I swear, someone going like really really fast was passing me!"

    @Quilting in My Pyjamas: Thank you for corroborating my invisibility findings. Now if only I could run at 117mph...

    @miss.chief: They just might have a whole pile of them, and someones odd sense of humor is to make them all go to

    @JessiB: Damn! Rolling your car must've been terrifying! I think as a teen I had no idea that I could actually hurt myself and that I was in command of a 2 ton weapon (even though people drilled that into my head on a daily basis.) After nine speeding tickets it finally sunk in!

  15. I got up to well over 100 one night late (or early morning) speeding through East Texas in my little Capri (don't make 'em anymore, too bad, great car). Finally slowed down. didn't mind my own exit at the time but didn't want to take anyone else with me.

    so just want to welcome you to my blog. thanks for following.

  16. Ha ha! I'm glad I didn't get my license that young; I would have wrecked a car by the time I was 17.

    The first time I drove, however, was when I was 14. My sister took me out of the city, and I was screaming down the highway at 145km/h (90mph). I look back and shudder.

    WOW...Now that I've converted YOUR speed from miles to kilometres, I have to say "congratulations for surviving!" :)

  17. I REALLY need to learn to drive so I can be a reckless firecracker too!

  18. That is too fucking funny!

    At least you picture phone the speedometer instead of yourself like I do!!!!!