Thursday, March 4, 2010

Deceptive Diet Brain

So, as I continue my weight loss struggle (Yeah I just ordered a pizza, but the crust is whole wheat....wanna fight about it? Well, don't you worry because AB and HB just did have a little tiff. Apparently whole wheat pizza is the compromise between a healthy salad made from leftovers in the fridge and sucking down a large vanilla Frosty from the Wendy's drive thru. Drive thru = special added lazy bonus.) I have started to think about how I spend all of my life managing the removal and addition of things to my body.

As I try to shed my extra poundage, my mind generally starts to drift to all the things I can remove from my body to add loss without actually doing anything substantial. Unless you count chopping off all of my hair 'substantial'...but that's another story.

* Hair. Oh dear God all sorts of hair. Women deal with hair removal, men less so, but they still do unless they want to look like a mountain man (I myself like that look, too bad my love does not agree....). Women, we pretty much remove or attempt to tame our regions of hair that consistently threaten to run wild. Now, I do have to say that while on a diet I am compulsively inclined to keep all these regions at bay, including my eye brows in a futile attempt to 'weigh less' when I step on the dreaded scale at the gym.
* Nails. Same deal here. Nails are so useful, but just get too long for weigh-in time. So they must be trimmed and generally kept free of polish to avoid adding those pesky nano-grams.
* Moisture. Yes, I will admit that sometimes I intentionally dehydrate myself prior to visiting my local gym scale in order to feel like I have accomplished something amazing by magically losing two pounds overnight. Maybe my sleep is getting more efficient. Yeeeeeah, that's not it.

And then all of the things I, makeup, nail polish, jewelry, shoes, oh the list goes on. All of which can serve to make me look like I am skinnier or heavier.

I know I am only fooling myself. AB and HB both know this. We are not crazy in this brain. Only constantly craving and looking for an easy fix.

Now if you'll excuse me, HB and AB need to duke it out to see exactly how much of this whole wheat pizza I will eat.

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